KENNEDY: Guffawing that Kate could be dead is a vomitous new low for washed-up ... trends now

Bravo executive turned on-air big-mouth Andy Cohen yucked it up Tuesday night with wannabe funny man John Oliver on Cohen's titular talk show 'Watch What Happens Live'… and I really wish I hadn't watched at all.

I lost respect for Oily Oliver and his tired schtick years ago. But recent reports that he'd gone full intifada in defense of Palestine only confirmed what I feared:

If a washed-up clown can't make 'em laugh, he'll make 'em retch instead!

And his latest over-baked hot take has indeed been vomitous in the extreme.

Cohen and Oliver, two sad salt-and-pepperpots – Andy bronzed and buttered into his too-tight pinstripe, JLo inexplicably in a tracksuit – guffawed and grabbed for the fading glint of the limelight, dragging stricken Princess Kate into the picture.

But like a shoddy Photoshop, Andy's nosedive into the gelatinous 'Katespiracy' soup was as unsubtle as Sharon Osborne's latest facelift.

'What the f*** is going on with Kate Middleton?' he squealed.

To which pimento-stuffed Oliver chirped: 'I thought, let's all just ignore this, we've moved on… until the Photoshop thing and it feels like you're almost handling it badly in an impressive way at this point.'

Thanks Johnny! I'm sure Palace PRs are taking attentive note.

But wait, there was more from our favorite bottom feeders:

'There is a non-zero chance she died 18 months ago,' Oliver said with thinly veiled glee. 'They might be Weekend At Bernie's-ing this situation.'

(Vanderpump Rules 'star' and fellow couch-guest Ariana Madix thought bubble: 'How many is non-zero!?')

Oh my giddiness, you know what's utterly hilarious? Two men, fast catapulting past midlife, careers targeted to the valley floor, jibing about the potential death of a young mom-of-three convalescing from major surgery.

You know who White House wetwipe Oliver would never dream of trashing with his 'Weekend At Bernie's' dud? Our doddering dotard-in-chief, Joe Biden.

What's that stench emanating out from under the studio lights? I smell last week's reheated chicken!

It's stunning really – with all the over-stuffed writers' rooms and Emmys under their collective belt – how fast comedy eludes this desperate duo.

From Cohen – the most veteran Real Housewife – we really shouldn't expect any less than TikTok-fueled tattle.

But for Oliver – who likes to cosplay as foreign policy guru and politico Big Brain, mansplaining disasters here and abroad – to gun straight for the Crown Jewels with this most malignant of mudslings is surely a rotten new low.