Former Mormon reveals the wild list of rules she was forced to follow while ... trends now

A former Mormon has revealed the bizarre list of rules she had to follow when she was a member of the strict religious group - from a ban on coffee to extreme regulations about dating.

Alyssa Grenfell, 31, regularly shares tidbits from her past Mormon life to social media, documenting her journey from active church participant in the ultra-religious sect to finally leaving the group.

In a recent YouTube video, Alyssa, who now lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and two kids, shared the list of rules she was forced to follow when she was a member of the church.

'I did not drink coffee until I was 23,' the mom-of-two shared in the clip. 'Because I thought that if I drank coffee God would not let me through the Pearly Gates.'

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The bizarre rule is just one of many that Alyssa believed to be true, until leaving the Mormon church with her husband when she was in her late 20s.

She explained that Mormons follow a health code called The Word of Wisdom - which was a scripture essentially given to Joseph Smith when he was organizing the church in what was supposedly a health code given to the Saints for them to follow.

She added despite common misconception that coffee is banned due to the caffeine, that's not actually the case.

'Mormons do love their Monster energy drinks, their Red Bull caffeine - you know even Dr Pepper, Coke, Diet Coke - those are all well loved within the Mormon community so it is not about caffeine,' she pointed out. 'The reason coffee is prohibited is just the coffee itself - nothing more.'

While the former member said there is a movement to scale back on the 'very rigid set of rules' that the church enforces, she said the religion itself is always going to center around a set of rules and obsession with purity.

'Ultimately at its core the church is always going to be so heavily focused and obsessed with rule following,' she explained. 'It's not even about the rule, it's about staying 10 to 20 to 30 steps back from sin and being "as pure as possible."'

Alyssa delved into the complicated rules around dating in the church - describing it as a 'doozy.'

'When I was growing up, dating before you were 16 was completely against the rules,' she explained, before reading a passage from the church's handbook.

'Do not date until you are at least 16 years old,' she read. 'Dating before then can lead to immorality.'

She continued: 'Limit the number of other young people you meet and deprive you experiences - that will help you choose an eternal partner.'

She said that although some people bend the rules when it comes to courtship, most don't entertain the idea of dating until they are 16, and go on group dates until they are at least 18.

Alyssa met her now-husband before she was 18, but admits there was a lot of 'mental gymnastics' involved around navigating of their relationship.

'We would hang out at that person's house when I was dating him and not go on dates - so I think that was kind of a way of skirting around this rule,' she admitted.

'Like we're not going on dates, we're hanging out there just the two of us,' she said. 'So we're not dating, we just hold hands but we're not dating or we go on group dates but we're always just with each other and we're paired off but because we're on a group date.'

Although teenagers are encouraged to wait until they are 16 to date, once they turn 18 it's 'open season,' and people often hurry to marry as the men go off and serve in missions for two years. 

Alyssa, who got married at 22, joked she was an 'old maid' for getting married at that age, as most of her classmates at Brigham Young University - BYU - got married at around 19 or 20.

'It's very much seen as 18-year-old girls start dating returned missionaries - so 21 or 22-year-olds - guys go on their mission for two years, so that kind of is what changes in the dating scene. 

'I will say too, even before you're 16, at least for women, you hear and talk about your future Eternal companion all the time in church lessons [and] young women's meetings.'

She also shared some of the strange rituals they would take part in as children, including writing letters to their future spouses.

'I'd be writing my journal to my future spouse in church meetings - young women's lessons - I would be encouraged to write letters to my future spouse,' she recalled.

'You know, "Dear future husband, I hope you're a returned missionary, I hope you love the Savior Jesus Christ, I hope you're a good priesthood holder,"' she listed.

Alyssa added that they're told not to even entertain the idea of dating someone that's not marriage material - and 'heavily encouraged' to follow the law of chastity when you do strike up a connection.

'People would say well this law of chastity is not just having no sex before marriage but it's also avoiding heavy petting,' she shared.

Alyssa added although these rules are targeted at young people, the same rules apply for anyone

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