Comic Relief 2019: Shirley Ballas recalls the heartbreak of her brother's suicide and believes 'he would still be here today if he had someone to talk to' If you have been affected by the issues raised, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123By Faith Ridler For Mailonline Published: 00:29 GMT, 16 March 2019 | Updated: 00:29 GMT, 16 March 2019 Viewcomments Shirley Ballas has recalled the heartbreak of losing her brother to suicide in a touching film on her reason for taking part in the Comic Relief Mount Kilimanjaro trek. The Strictly Come Dancing judge, 58, said she believes her brother David would 'still be here' if he'd had somebody to go to as he battled depression. Speaking to Paul, who turned back from taking his own life with the help of Comic Relief-funded charity Calm, she said: 'My brother took his own life. You know, he was a young man, 44.' Scroll down for video Close to her heart: Shirley Ballas has recalled the heartbreak of losing her brother to suicide in a touching film on her reason for taking part in the Comic Relief Mount Kilimanjaro trek She added: 'His partner found him, no note, no letter, no goodbye. I can only imagine 16 years ago, if my brother would have had somewhere to go, someone to talk to, someone to share his feelings... I truly believe in my heart, today, he would still be here.' In footage aired earlier in the week, she added: 'He was like my brother, my father, my best friend and he was lonely, he felt low. He said like he'd got into a dark hole, he couldn’t get out of. 'I'd call him on the phone and tell him, "Come on Dave, you're going to be fine," because I was uneducated so that’s why in some ways I blame myself.' Shirley's brother David took his own life in December 2003, aged just 44, after a battle with depression. Heartbreaking: The Strictly Come Dancing judge, 58, said she believes her brother David would 'still be here' if he'd had somebody to go to as he battled depression The ballroom dancer opened up about the loss in a special film on male suicide prevention broadcast during Kilimanjaro: The Bigger Red Nose Climb. In scenes aired earlier this week, Shirley told the camera as she prepared to sleep on the first night of the climb: 'I think my brother would be proud of him, I miss him so I'm doing it got him. If it means sleeping in a tent and being disorganised for a week I'm sure I can do it.' As the nine celebrities reached their first camp on day one, Shirley was overcome at the prospect of spending her first ever night in a tent. Heartbreak: In scenes aired earlier this week as she climbed the Tanzanian mountain, she said: 'My brother took his own life, his partner found him. There was no note, no goodbye, 16 years ago.' Struggle: Shirley's brother David took his own life in December 2003, aged just 44, after a battle with depression 'I'm 58 and I've never been out in the woods or even done outdoor activities,' she explained. 'I suffer from OCD, I like showering all the time. I'm used to bathing three or four times a day. The prospect of having to wash all your bits and bobs with a wet wipe is daunting,' she added before having to turn away from the camera with tears in her eyes. Luckily, BBC Breakfast presenter Dan Walker was on hand to cheer the Strictly star up. He said: 'Why don't you harness Shirley Ballas three times world champion?' The charity trek followed nine celebrities, including Dan, Love Island star Dani Dyer and politician Ed Balls, as they powered through high altitudes and sub-zero temperatures on the mountain. If you have been affected by the issues raised, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website. Loss: The Strictly judge said of her her late brother: 'He was like my brother, my father, my best friend and he was lonely, he felt low.' Share or comment on this article: All rights reserved for this news site dailymail and under his responsibility