Eating habits in soapland have long left a lot to be desired. Where did they learn their table manners, the zoo? Coronation Street's Jason took his orchestra of chewing noises with him when he left, but other people's inability to eat with a modicum of decorum is at times unbearable. It's as if everyone now has a licence to spill.
EastEnders' Tiffany could not make more noise eating toast than if she sank her teeth into a cliff edge. She's not great with cutlery, either; when she eats a meal, it sounds like a knife-throwers' banquet.
You know when Carla hits the bottle, disaster looms. Oh, hang on, that’s pretty much every day of the year. When she starts receiving messages from ‘Rana’, she freaks out and is soon on a slide to rock bottom. When Peter finds her outside the remains of the factory barefoot (pictured), he realises she’s seriously ill
Emmerdale's Kerry and Amy are hard enough to understand when they're not eating; put pie and chips in front of them and you need subtitles to make any sense of their conversation. The same goes for Chas now that she's pregnant and always eating.
Such is the mealtime racket in Corrie you could be forgiven for thinking an alien spaceship was landing in your living room. That's probably because most food is eaten outside or on the sofa, rather than at the dining table. Please, people, learn some manners, don't speak with your mouths full, and buy The Dummies' Guide To Using Cutlery.
CORONATION STREET: SELF-MEDICATION
You know when Carla hits the bottle, disaster looms.
Oh, hang on, that's pretty much every day of the year.
When she starts receiving messages from 'Rana', she freaks out and is soon on a slide to rock bottom.
When Peter finds her outside the remains of the factory barefoot, he realises she's seriously ill.
The factory when it was up and running would be enough to addle anyone's brain, so the collapsed shell certainly warrants several crates of red wine, if not a whole vineyard.
After Peter takes her to the medical centre, she does a runner when Toyah takes her into the consulting room.
That's hardly surprising.
Toyah's platitudinous manner, currently in full throttle, is enough to drive even the most sane person towards the nearest window ledge.
Small wonder that Imran is snapping at her like Jaws on speed. Trying to make up for his behaviour, he attempts to make a curry.
I'd like to say that would put a smile on her face, but as
