The REAL list of every celebrity on The Masked Singer Australia

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Well, you can call me Lindsay Lohan, because it turns out I'm about as bad at identifying D-grade Australian celebs as a failed American beach club mogul.  

And if I'm not careful, my coverage of The Masked Singer Australia might go the way of Lohan's Beach Club Mykonos and close before the paint has even dried. 

Last week, I unmasked the Alien as Natalie Bassingthwaighte - but upon further probes, it turns out I was wrong.

Luckily, I've worked out the formula, so I can confidently insist this is the last time a creepy anthropomorphic creature will catch me with my pants down.

Last week, I confidently unmasked the Alien as Natalie Bassingthwaighte

Luckily I've worked out the formula and that formula is: 'Don't be a hero'

Alien probes caught me with my pants down: Reality TV pundit ALEX MICHAEL reveals the REAL list of every celebrity on The Masked Singer... after he got it wrong last time

Nikki 'Alien' Webster was unmasked on Monday night, after everybody except me insisted it was her.

My only crime was trusting Channel Ten to follow the lead of the Masked Singer US and not slap viewers in the face with the least cryptic clues possible.

All of the Sydney Olympics clues were obvious, but the the most obvious 'cryptic' clue of all?

 'In bars all around the country there is a drink named after me'.

As soon as Alien said that, I thought, 'right, well it's not Bloody Princess Mary or Yellow Wiggle EmMai Tai Watkins, so they're clearly referring to a Strawberry Kiss.'

Call me Lindsay? Well, you can call me Lindsay Lohan, because it turns out I'm about as bad at identifying D-grade Australian celebs as a failed American beach club mogul - but I've worked out the formula this week

Call me Lindsay? Well, you can call me Lindsay Lohan, because it turns out I'm about as bad at identifying D-grade Australian celebs as a failed American beach club mogul - but I've worked out the formula this week

How obvious can you get? They may as well have just had her say 'quack, quack I'm a yellow duck who loves the Zoo - but you won't see me at Taronga!'

I think every Australian male born before 2000 would have immediately been like 'Nikki Webster! Zoo Magazine, May 1st 2006. Yellow bikini, poolside, hand on stomach!'

They're way more cryptic with their clues on the US series.

Not-so cryptic! All the Sydney Olympics clues were pretty obvious, but the the most obvious 'cryptic' clue of all was: 'In bars all around the country there is a drink named after me' - a reference to Strawberry Kisses

Not-so cryptic! All the Sydney Olympics clues were pretty obvious, but the the most obvious 'cryptic' clue of all was: 'In bars all around the country there is a drink named after me' - a reference to Strawberry Kisses

Auto-tune connoisseur T-Pain won season one, after the hints tried to make people think he was a criminal who was fresh out of jail.

'The game turned on me, so I retreated on my cave to take a break from the public eye, but now I'm back to set the record straight. This mobster is back!' he said on episode one. 

'Surely if OJ Simpson has been belting out a bit of Sam Smith in the communal showers we would have reported on it by now?' I immediately concluded.

Alas, it turned out the only 'crimes' were against music. 

Quack, Quack! How obvious can you get? They may as well have just had her say 'quack, quack I'm a yellow duck who loves the Zoo - but you won't see me at Taronga!'

Quack, Quack! How obvious can you get? They may as well have just had her say 'quack, quack I'm a yellow duck who loves the Zoo - but you won't see me at Taronga!'

 So last week, when I outed Georgia Love as the horse-loving Monster because her boyfriend Lee Elliott called The Bachelorette season 3 a 'one-horse race'? 

Yeah, I was wrong. It's Project panellist Gorgi Coghlan, who loves horses, trained in equestrian and has a beautiful voice nobody has heard on

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