Valerie Bertinelli of Hot In Cleveland is going on a new diet after the death ...

In 2009 Valerie Bertinelli lost nearly 50 pounds thanks to the Jenny Craig program and consistent workouts.

But some of that weight crept back after she lost her parents Andy and Nancy.

Now the 59-year-old star - who is best known for the TV shows One Day At A Time and Hot In Cleveland - told the Today show she is going back on a diet to feel better in her jeans and feel 'joy' again before she turns 60 in April.

Still beautiful though: In 2009 Valerie Bertinelli lost nearly 50 pounds thanks to the Jenny Craig program. But some of that weight crept back after she lost her parents Andy and Nancy. Now she has told Today she wants to lose the weight again; seen in May

Still beautiful though: In 2009 Valerie Bertinelli lost nearly 50 pounds thanks to the Jenny Craig program. But some of that weight crept back after she lost her parents Andy and Nancy. Now she has told Today she wants to lose the weight again; seen in May

Natalie Morales visited Bertinelli in her home to talk about it in a video shared by Today.

The actress is doing a new series with Today for the next few months where she will share her weight loss journey.  

'I just feel really positive about 2020,' she said. 'I feel like it's a new dawn.' 

Bertinelli has had a hard time with the passing of her mother last year. 'When you're busy taking care of other people, you forget about yourself.'

She said since she was 12 she has been working so hard and now she wants to know what 'joy' is like.  

At her most slender: The TV star had abs when she posed for People magazine in 2009

At her most slender: The TV star had abs when she posed for People magazine in 2009

A new look for her late 40s: She also went out in mini dresses and felt more confident; seen here at a boo signing for Finding It in October 2009

A new look for her late 40s: She also went out in mini and felt more confident; seen here at a boo signing for Finding It in October 2009

'I want to lose a few pounds. I want to feel better about my life,' said the brunette.

'I want to not fake it until I make it anymore and I think a lot of people out there feel the same way I feel so, I thought, maybe, we can lean on each other.'

Valerie added that she always smile on camera but the sadness wells up when she is home and she uses food to deal with her feelings. The weight gain is 'emotional.'

She added, 'Instead of using food as a numbing agent to not feel the feelings, I just have to push through them and feel it…I have a real evil, unkind voice in my head that I’m always shutting up.'

Valerie then said: 'I think a lot of us do. We just need to stop because we have this beautiful gift of life.'

The focus has always been on her body: During a glam shoot in Los Angeles in 1985

The focus has always been on her body: During a glam shoot in Los Angeles in 1985

A massive hit YB show in the 1970s: And here she is with Bonnie Franklin and Mackenzie Phillips on One Day At A Time in 1975

A massive hit YB show in the 1970s: And here she is with Bonnie Franklin and Mackenzie Phillips on One Day At A Time in 1975

She also shared a personal essay with Today.

'I’m an “everything’s fine” girl. You know the type: I’m the person who can pretend that everything's OK and that I’m happy. But the truth is – and this is hard to admit – it’s been a really hard few years.

'My dad passed away in late 2016, and when he was gone, I felt the need to step in and care for my mother. It was important to me that she felt included and that we were still paying attention to her. 

'But as so many of us know, when you’re busy taking care of other people, you forget to take care of yourself and life can become very challenging. And when I lost her in June, the sadness from her passing and the last few years combined grabbed a hold of my heart and stayed there for a bit too long.

With first husband Eddie Van Halen in 1992 in LA

With husband Tom Vitale in 2011 in New York City

The men in her life: With first husband Eddie Van Halen, left, in 1992 in LA and with husband Tom Vitale in 2011 in New York City

'When you’re busy taking care of other people, you forget to take care of yourself.

'With the loss of my parents and dealing with other trials life throws our way, I’ve used food as a way not to feel the sadness or the stress. But by eating something away, all it does is make me feel worse about myself. One of my personal mottos is “choose happy.” But sometimes that choice is really challenging.

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'So as I begin a new year, a new decade and prepare to turn 60 in April, I’m on a mission: to know what true joy inside and out feels like. Finding pure personal joy is a challenge in this world where there are always things slapping us upside the head – but we have to figure out a way to find it through all of that.

'To me, I think that joy is tied to making healthy choices with my life in everything I do. Healthy in the people I surround myself with, the food I eat and, perhaps most importantly, the way I talk to myself.

Hot women: Her hit show Hot In Cleveland with Betty White as Elka Ostrosky, Wendie Malick as Victoria Chase, Valerie as Melanie Moretti and Jane Leeves as Joy Scroggs

Hot women: Her hit show Hot In Cleveland with Betty White as Elka Ostrosky, Wendie Malick as Victoria Chase, Valerie as Melanie Moretti and Jane Leeves as Joy Scroggs

'I don’t want to get through the hard times

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