Jesy Nelson has discussed her departure from Little Mix in a candid new interview, hours after her ex-bandmate Leigh-Anne Pinnock announced she's expecting her first child.
Gracing the cover of Cosmopolitan's June issue, the musician, 29, admitted she would have 'ended up back where I was five years ago' if she didn't leave the band last December, and enthused about feeling 'free' since her exit.
The singer - who also confirmed she's making new music - reflected on feeling 'sad' during her 10-year stint with Leigh-Anne, Jade Thirlwall and Perrie Edwards, and revealed featuring in the music video for Sweet Melody marked her 'breaking point'.
In 2019, Jesy bravely shared that she once tried to take her own life after years of relentless trolling, and went on to produce her award-winning BBC documentary, Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out, which detailed her struggles in the spotlight.
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'I would have ended up back where I was five years ago, and that's scary': Jesy Nelson discussed her departure from Little Mix in a new interview for Cosmopolitan's June issue
Surprise! Her announcement came after her ex-bandmate Leigh-Anne Pinnock announced she's expecting her first child with fiancé Andre Gray
When asked about words which represent her during her time in the group and how she feels now, the songstress told the publication: 'In Little Mix: honest, hardworking, sad. [Now] Honest, content, free.'
The media personality recalled when she felt anxious during the production of Sweet Melody, which was filmed during lockdown.
On finding it difficult to return to work after enjoying her break from her career, the Romford native said: 'The last music video we did (Sweet Melody) was the breaking point.
'We'd been in lockdown, and it was the first time I could have a break and be at home around people that I love. It was the happiest I'd ever felt and I didn't realise that until I went back to work. I immediately became a different person. I had anxiety.
'Whenever we have a music video I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to try and lose weight. I have a fear of looking back on the camera. If I don't like what I see, I find it so hard to be in front of the camera and feel amazing and perform.'Insurance Loans Mortgage Attorney Credit Lawyer
The artist said she left the set crying, before a close friend advised her to prioritise her mental health.
Jesy explained: 'I'd been in lockdown, and I'd put on a bit of weight but I didn't care. And they said, ''you've got a music video in a couple of weeks'' and I just panicked. I went on this extreme diet, with bloody shakes, and tried to eat as little as possible.
'On the day of the Sweet Melody video I had a panic attack on set because I didn't look how I wanted to look and I found it so hard to just be happy and enjoy myself.
'There's a scene in Sweet Melody I'm not in because that's when I had a panic attack and broke down. I was like, ''I just want to go home.''
'I was sobbing in the dressing room. Someone really close to me said, ''This has got to stop. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You're going to end up where you were before.''
'For me that was the pinnacle point. I was like, ''I need to start taking care of myself now because this isn't healthy.'' It wasn't nice for the other three to be around someone who didn't want to be there. So I took a break.
'For so long I worried about other people and letting people down. The only person I should have been trying to make happy was myself and I wasn't doing that.
'I needed to do it for my mental health because I know I would have ended up back where I was five years ago, and that's scary…'
The songwriter previously said that at the height of her bullying, following the group's 2011's X Factor win, she took an overdose, but was saved by her boyfriend at the time.
The Woman Like Me hitmaker revealed she was quitting the group late last year, weeks after taking an extended break for medical reasons.
The DNA star confessed she was left shocked when she was met with support from her fans, sharing: 'I was at home with my family, taking everything in on the news. Everyone was talking about it on Lorraine.
'When I put up my statement I turned off my comments because I was sh***ing myself because I thought, ''I'm going to get so much backlash for this.'' My sister rang me and said, ''I think you should turn on your comments. Everything I've seen is