Kerry Katona has reflected on how her failed marriages have left her terrified of her upcoming wedding to fiancé Ryan Mahoney, 32.
The star, 40, who has been divorced three times and announced her fourth engagement last year, admitted that she felt 'sick' at the thought of walking down the aisle with Ryan and sometimes hopes the nuptials will be cancelled.
Speaking exclusively to MailOnline about her exes, she said: 'My first husband left me for somebody else. My second one was my drug dealer. And my third one beat the s**t out of me. So, yeah there is massive anxiety – they all failed.'
Putting her nerves aside however, Kerry is recruiting the assistance of Gok Wan to find her perfect wedding dress as she is set to appear on TLC's Say Yes to the Dress Lancashire to ensure she feels like a princess on her big day.
Big day: Kerry Katona, 40, revealed on Wednesday that she felt 'sick' at the thought of walking down the aisle for her fourth wedding (pictured on Say Yes to the Dress Lancashire)
Kerry was married to Brian McFadden from 2002 to 2006, Mark Croft from 2007 to 2011 and the late George Kay from 2014 to 2017 and is now engaged to Ryan after they met on a dating app.
Westlife star Brian was famously unfaithful to the star while Mark was around throughout Kerry's cocaine addiction. In 2015, he admitted to running a £50,000 cannabis farm from his loft to pay off his drug debts.
Her relationship with George was fraught with woes prior to his 2019 drug overdose.
She quickly added of her husband-to-be: 'Not that Ryan is anything remotely like any three of them put together. Not an ounce of any of them. But you just start to think "it must be me"'
Cute couple: The star, who was previously married to Brian McFadden, Mark Croft, George Kay is now engaged to Ryan Mahoney, 32 (pictured) after they met on a dating app
'I hope it gets cancelled': The confession comes as Kerry reflected on filming her upcoming episode of Say Yes to the Dress Lancashire where she nervously picked a gown with Gok Wan
On her wedding to Ryan, she said: 'I kept thinking "I hope it gets cancelled. I hope it gets cancelled." Honestly, I had this massive fear…it made me feel sick...
'It turned my stomach thinking about a wedding and walking down the aisle in front of all of those people again. I thought, no. I can’t think of anything worse.'
Of her anxiety, Kerry explained: 'There’s aspects of… failure... And being unloved. All I ever wanted was to be was loved. And I went about it all the wrong way.'
The Atomic Kitten star continued: 'Being a child, even from a really young age, I just wanted to be loved and that emotion of being abandoned and rejected…
'When Brian
