CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The poor viewers of Joe Lycett's 'Watchdog' really were ...

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The poor viewers of Joe Lycett's 'Watchdog' really were ...
CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The poor viewers of Joe Lycett's 'Watchdog' really were ...

Joe Lycett's Got Your Back

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Nick Knowles's Big House Clearout

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To be fair, doing nothing is harder than it looks. 'Ah-ha,' says the Mail reader, 'finally Stevens knows whereof he speaks' — a barbed comment that I choose to ignore.

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But, nonetheless, doing nothing is the role of sidekick Dr Mark Silcox, on Joe Lycett's Got Your Back (C4).

Dr Mark is a stand-up comedian, though he has a PhD in chemistry from Imperial College London, and his job is to sit stony-faced at his laptop, on the Dayglo set, under a barrage of Joe's quips and sneers.

As soon as he cracks a smile, the gag stops working. He usually only lasts about 15 seconds, and after that the premise of the show doesn't survive much longer . . .

Joe encouraged his Sewing Bee chum Patrick Grant to model a pullover with the slogan ‘I just knit myself’, which is a fair indication of the standard of wit throughout

Joe encouraged his Sewing Bee chum Patrick Grant to model a pullover with the slogan 'I just knit myself', which is a fair indication of the standard of wit throughout

It's meant to be a knockabout version of Watchdog, an hour-long sally into consumer affairs with plenty of comedy.

If either part of the format was strong, Joe might have a hit. But the endless toilet jokes aren't funny and the crusades are pathetic.

The 'taste test' comparison between Big Macs and Whopper burgers was embarrassing, a bit of juvenile filler that would be patronising on a children's channel.

And there seemed no point at all to a feature on the decline in the market for British woollens. Joe encouraged his Sewing Bee chum Patrick Grant to model a pullover with the slogan 'I just knit myself', which is a fair indication of the standard of wit throughout.

Lorraine Kelly was the guest presenter, reading out obscene text messages and forcing a smile at the jibes about daytime TV.

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Why she

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