Louise Thompson has given a detailed account of her experience with PTSD on Friday after she revealed she nearly died while giving birth to her son Leo-Hunter.
Taking to Instagram, she shared a snap of her cuddling up to her son and two dogs while penning a lengthy caption about the after effects of her traumatic birthing story.
The former Made In Chelsea, 31, nearly died after giving birth to Leo-Hunter, while the newborn - who she has dubbed her 'miracle baby' - also required urgent treatment in NICU.
Traumatic: Louise Thompson, 31, has given a detailed account of her experience with PTSD on Friday after she revealed she nearly died while giving birth to her son Leo-Hunter
Louise honestly detailed her experience and how she suffers from 'depressive panic episodes' which leave her 'unable to function.'
She wrote in the caption: 'Trigger warning: PTSD My experience so far… I can only write when I am not having a depressive panic episode and luckily right now I am not. My panic episodes can last hours or days and are totally unpredictable.
'When I'm having one I can't function, I can't look after myself, let alone anyone else around me. I can't even spell my name. I can't see, I can't hear, I can't look anyone in the eye. They have got so bad that I have convinced myself that I'm going crazy.
'I feel depersonalisation, hyper paranoia as if I've taken a million and one drugs and I feel like I'm stuck in another realm. I am not myself. If my mind can't find a physical problem then it will attach itself to a mental one.
Sad:The former Made In Chelsea nearly died after giving birth to Leo-Hunter, while the newborn - who she has dubbed her 'miracle baby' - also required urgent treatment in NICU; pictured in the hospital
Strong: Taking to Instagram, she shared a snap of her cuddling up to her son and two dogs while penning a lengthy caption about the after effects of her traumatic birthing story
'The other night I thought my head was actually going to explode open because my internal dialogue was so wild and overwrought. I looked in the mirror and my eyes were blood shot.
'I don't know whether the mental causes the physical or the other way around, but things seem to be getting worse. If it was a permanent state, I don't think I would be here.'
She then went onto say that she is left unable to plan her days because these episodes are so unpredictable.
'It's frustrating that I can't predict them because it means I can't plan anything. Every day is so uncertain. What is certain is that I'm not thinking about anything negative, in fact I'm doing everything I can to try not to spiral… but my subconscious thinks that I'm dying all the time.
Upsetting: She detailed her experience and how she suffers from 'depressive panic episodes' which leave her 'unable to function'
'I think I have boxed my experiences up and buried them, but they are coming back to haunt me. ALL THE TIME. My body and mind are in constant fight or flight mode and I quite literally will be triggered by anything. The other day I looked in the mirror and noticed that the underside of my tongue was blue. I thought I was dying.'
She also detailed her triggers with the mental health condition and the symptoms she is dealing with.
'Another trigger: mornings. That's the worst one, I'm actually fearful of getting up in the morning because if I start the day with an episode then I really struggle to flick the switch/to claw my way out of it and that means a whole day of battling with myself which is exhausting.
'No tools can fix the problem. Nothing. Tools seem laughable at this point, but I'm sure they will get better. I'm not just a hypochondriac I do have a lot of really bad physical symptoms too like pain, dizziness, fainting, temperatures, blood pressure issues, nausea, diarrhoea, adrenaline, heavy night sweats, eye problems, the list goes on.'
Baby joy: The reality star had announced that she was taking a break from social media on November 14, ahead of the birth, but concerned fans after remaining silent in the following
