Thursday 11 August 2022 02:10 AM CHRISTOPHER STEVENS on last night's TV trends now

Thursday 11 August 2022 02:10 AM CHRISTOPHER STEVENS on last night's TV trends now
Thursday 11 August 2022 02:10 AM CHRISTOPHER STEVENS on last night's TV trends now

Thursday 11 August 2022 02:10 AM CHRISTOPHER STEVENS on last night's TV trends now

Celebrity MasterChef

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Shetland

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Showing off his culinary skills on his programme about grief earlier this week, the Rev Richard Coles dropped vegetables on the floor.

Dirt enhances the flavour, he said blithely, before dusting them off and serving them. 'I won Celebrity MasterChef,' he added.

That confirmed everything I've always suspected about the cookery show, which has been running since 2006. Unlike the amateur contestants on the main series, most of the Celebrity MasterChef (BBC1) line-up don't know one end of a blender from the other.

Unlike the amateur contestants on the main series, most of the Celebrity MasterChef (BBC1) line-up don’t know one end of a blender from the other

Unlike the amateur contestants on the main series, most of the Celebrity MasterChef (BBC1) line-up don't know one end of a blender from the other

We're meant to believe the celebs donning aprons spend all their free time in the kitchen. The truth is that some of them wouldn't know how to open a pre-packaged sandwich from Pret. They'd have to get their personal assistants to do it.

Nancy Dell'Olio's pretence at competence collapsed as soon as presenter Gregg Wallace asked what staples she kept in her fridge. 'Champagne,' she admitted.

Gregg and Nancy did a pre-rehearsed gag about her 'favourite thing to make for dinner — a reservation at a restaurant!'

Another joke Gregg had prepared earlier was served as he chatted to Paul Elliott, much loved as one half of the Chuckle Brothers.

Inspecting Paul's recipe, Gregg declared: 'Doesn't sound like a bad idea . . . to me!'

'To you?' Paul replied obediently. 'To me! To you!' they chorused, echoing the Chuckles' catchphrase.

On Celebrity MasterChef, all jokes must be flattened with a meat tenderiser to ensure that no scrap of spontaneity survives.

Sauntering over to Love Island star Faye Winter, Gregg asked what she was cooking. When she told him uncertainly that it was a chicken, he corrected her

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