Sunday 27 November 2022 05:29 PM Emmerdale's Ash Palmisciano opens up on the searing grief of losing his mother trends now 'It's been a terrible year': Emmerdale’s first transgender actor Ash Palmisciano reflects on the searing grief of losing his mother after a long-term battle with rheumatoid arthritis If you have been affected by anything in this article, call the Samaritans UK for free on 116 123 By Jessica Janes For Mailonline Published: 17:20 GMT, 27 November 2022 | Updated: 17:23 GMT, 27 November 2022 Viewcomments Groundbreaking Emmerdale star Ash Palmisciano has reflected on the the uphill battle he faced in coming to terms with his mother's death earlier this year. Ash, 32 - the soap's first transgender actor - lost his mother Michelle at the age of 60 in May following a long-term battle with rheumatoid arthritis. Speaking to The Mirror, the star said he feels fortunate to have had parents who showered him and his younger sister with love, and insists he wasn't prepared for the avalanche of grief that followed her passing. Devastated: Groundbreaking Emmerdale star Ash Palmisciano has reflected on the the uphill battle he faced in coming to terms with his mother's death earlier this year He said: ‘Mum was a true inspiration to us all. Not only was she an amazing mum to my sister Sophie and me, she was also such a fantastic wife and nanna too. ‘Grief is such a beast that is uncontrollable, and you are not prepped for it. We don’t talk about loss and it’s something we will all face in our lives. It’s been a terrible year and I am finding it hard.’ He also touched on how his transgender Emmerdale character, Matty Barton, has been having a rough time on the soap after discovering he has been betrayed by his mother, Moira, and girlfriend Amy. Tragic: Ash lost his mother Michelle in May due to a long-term battle with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 60 Barton is devastated after discovering the pair lied to him about who really shot dead former Woolpack co-owner Al Chapman. He said: ‘Poor Matty has had a rough time in Emmerdale, but there has always been so much love in my family home, and Mum was the most important person in my life.’ Ash admitted Christmas will be tough for the family, as it will be their first without their mother. Grateful: Ash said he feels fortunate to have had great parents who showered him and his younger sister Sophia with love He said: ‘I am sure we will all have our moments. But we want to recreate her amazing spirit and energy for her two grandkids, as she was such a fantastic nanna. ‘We want to make it fun for them – and if she is watching we are hoping she will be impressed.’ Ash recently revealed that he was on the receiving end of trolling after he became Emmerdale's first trans cast member. Opening up: He recently revealed that he was on the receiving end of trolling after he became Emmerdale's first trans cast member The actor told how he was ‘overwhelmed’ by some of the positive reactions he got. And when speaking on an episode of Lorraine, he said: ‘if you put yourself out there, you’ll always attract a troll online. 'The letters I’ve received and the comments from people have been overwhelming. That’s why I wanted to play this character.' Speaking out: The actor told how he was ‘overwhelmed’ by the positive reactions he received He added: 'It sparks conversation. That’s what soaps are really good about. It makes it seem usual and not something to be scared of. There is that storyline with Matty, but he is just a regular guy.' The TV star also told Lorraine that when he first joined Emmerdale, his storyline was only supposed to last for a few months before bosses decided to keep him on. He said: 'When I started it was a three-month contract, and to still be there two years later is amazing. 'I was doing any job I could. I was an elf at Christmas. When I got this job, I was so grateful.' If you have been affected by anything in this article, call the Samaritans UK for free on 116 123. Read more: Share or comment on this article: All rights reserved for this news site (dailymail) and under his responsibility