Amanda Abbington considered suicide after split from ex Martin Freeman left her ... trends now
Amanda Abbington has revealed that she considered suicide after her split from ex-husband Martin Freeman left her 'hating herself'.
The actress, 49, was married to The Office star, 51, for 16 years until their split in 2016 and they share children Joe, 17, and Grace, 15, together.
And in a candid new interview on the Full Disclosure podcast, Amanda - who played Martin's wife Mary Watson in BBC's Sherlock - told how she was a 'mess' after the breakdown of their marriage.
Detailing how much the split had affected her, she told how suicide was a 'genuine option for me' during the dark period of her life, telling how she recently had a similar thought after a row with her daughter.
She explained: 'It was breaking up with Martin and then realising I needed to sort myself out because I was a bit of a mess. I hated myself.
Tough time: Amanda Abbington has revealed that she considered suicide after her split from ex-husband Martin Freeman left her 'hating herself' (pictured together in 2014)
Candid: In an interview on the Full Disclosure podcast, Amanda - who played Martin's wife Mary Watson in BBC's Sherlock - told how she was a 'mess' after the breakdown of their marriage
'It was funny because the other day, and I’ve never told anyone, not even my therapist, I’d had a row with Grace [her daughter] because she couldn’t find her uniform and was late for school.
'So in the end I had to drive her to school instead of the bus and I was sitting in the car and I was having a go at her and I was getting nothing back from her because she’s a 15-year-old and she’s going through all this stuff.
'She’s a girl, I’m a mother — rage, anxiety. And I was sat there as I was driving, in my head, and I haven’t said this since I started therapy six years ago, "you could always kill yourself".
'And that was what my mantra used to be. If you’ve let people down and upset somebody or if you’re not being the best you can or you’re a bad mother, or you’re not stepping up with your acting, you can always kill yourself.'
Amanda went on to say that the idea of taking her life used to be an 'option' for her in the past, but that she last had the same thought six years ago - around the time of her separation from Martin.
She continued: 'That was a genuine option for me, quite a few times in my life. Then I don’t have to be this bad person because I don’t have to be here any more.
'And I thought about that and I thought, "Oh my God I haven’t thought about that in six years".'
Continuing to speak about her mental health, she went on: 'It all stems back to childhood and who you surround yourself with and what you put out there, the signals you send out.
Exes: The actress, 49, was married to The Office star, 51, for 16 years until their split in 2016 and they share children Joe, 17, and Grace, 15, together (pictured in 2009)
Difficult: Detailing how much the split had affected her, she told how suicide was a 'genuine option for me' during the dark period of her life, telling how she recently had a similar thought after a row with her daughter
Honest: 'It was breaking up with Martin and then realising I needed to sort myself out because I was a bit of a mess. I hated myself' (pictured in 2015)
Thoughts: 'That was a genuine option for me, quite a few times in my life. Then I don’t have to be this bad person because I don’t have to be here any more'
'People go "Oh there’s a vulnerable person with anxiety and low self esteem, I can use that and push that person down". You
