From a forensic psychiatrist and expert in stalking, a fascinating analysis of ... trends now
To many fans mesmerised by Netflix’s global hit Baby Reindeer, the plot is unthinkable and terrifying. A single act of kindness — a young man working in a bar offers a distressed woman a free cup of tea — turns into a relentless campaign of stalking that destroys his life.
But as I watched the seven-part series, in the light of my own experience as a forensic psychiatrist who has given evidence in numerous stalking cases, the facts seemed both stunningly convincing and frighteningly recognisable.
Like every complex psychological crime, the Baby Reindeer story has unique elements. At first, the show — based on creator and star Richard Gadd’s real-life ordeal, though he plays a character called Donny — goes in directions I was not expecting.
In the light of my own experience as a forensic psychiatrist who has given evidence in numerous stalking cases, Baby Reindeer seemed both stunningly convincing and frighteningly recognisable, writes Dr Sohom Das
Donny seems to be unusually self-absorbed. But as the story progresses, he is honest and open about how his own behaviour stoked his stalker’s obsession. We gradually come to understand why he is so susceptible to the relentless attention directed at him by the dangerously deluded Martha (Jessica Gunning).
It emerges that, as a struggling comedian on the stand-up circuit, he had been befriended by a much older man — a powerful TV writer and director — who had led him to believe that he could help his career. But after an evening of drink and drugs at the man’s London flat, Donny passes out and is raped.
So it’s a damaged and fragile person that Martha meets in episode one. He gives her free drinks when she comes into the pub where he works, agrees to meet her at a cafe and exchanges messages with her.
When she cuts off contact after being given a talking to by the police about her harassment of him, he misses her attention so much that he begins to obsess over her, too.
That doesn’t mean stalking victims are complicit in their own persecution — far from it. Most have done nothing to invite or sustain the unwanted attention.
But the crime is far more prevalent than most people would possibly guess. According to a 2018 survey published by the Office for National Statistics, 7 per cent of women and about 2.5 per cent of men in England and Wales had been stalked in the previous 12 months.
All the signs point to stalking becoming more and more common. The sad truth is that social media makes it easy for an obsessive to delve into their target’s life online — to befriend them on Facebook or decipher clues from photos on Instagram.
Most stalkers don’t have a mental illness, but they do share defined personality traits. They lack empathy, are impulsive and often have a previous history of violence or a criminal record.
Being naturally aggressive and hostile, they tend to be dismissive of the law or at least behave as though it doesn’t apply to them.
Viewers of Baby Reindeer may feel that Donny, played by creator Richard Gadd, also exacerbated Martha’s behaviour by reacting to it. But the reality is that ignoring a stalker will only work in some cases
This can be summed up as an ‘anti-social personality disorder’, something that affects between 2 and 4 per cent of men, and less than half a per cent
