Made In Chelsea: Ibiza's 20 terrible moments

There was one good thing about Made In Chelsea: Ibiza. Even as it was being screened the price of going there plummeted.

Viewers across the country cancelled their holidays in their droves – in case they bumped into the cast.

In one fell swoop, it had become the least cool resort in the world. Call it The MIC Effect. This was only understandable.

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There was one good thing about Made In Chelsea: Ibiza. Even as it was being screened the price of going there plummeted

There was one good thing about Made In Chelsea: Ibiza. Even as it was being screened the price of going there plummeted

It may have been off our screens for two months but absence had not made the heart grow fonder. It hadn’t got any subtler or the characters smarter.

If anything they were worse on holiday than at home. Posh twerps like Harry and Sam Thompson referred to women as 'birds' and Daisy revived that 80s horror 'bonking'.

When Toff mentioned it was the Summer Solstice, Olivia Bentley accused her of 'whipping out all these big words'. 'It’s the longest day of the summer,' explained Toff.

This felt like the longest night. It was the same as ever – only with yachts instead of Bentleys and Spanish sunsets instead of Sloane Street. The cocktails, champagne, and Jamie Laing’s red forehead remained unaltered.

In one fell swoop, Ibiza had become the least cool resort in the world. Call it The MIC Effect. This was only understandable.

In one fell swoop, Ibiza had become the least cool resort in the world. Call it The MIC Effect. This was only understandable.

It still basically consisted of various pairings of blondes walking up to one another, asking each other 'How are you?' and then 'acting natural' as they casually wondered 'how’s it going with Blah Blah?'

This was repeated ad infinitum, padded out with scenes of the characters dancing with drinks in their hands, or mindlessly pretending to have fun doing different activities as if they had just discovered The Best Thing In The World (this week – paddle-boarding).

Frankly they were all old enough to know better. Hopefully anyone who was already on holiday in Ibiza when they arrived got their money back.

It may have been off our screens for two months but absence had not made the heart grow fonder. It hadn¿t got any subtler or the characters smarter

It may have been off our screens for two months but absence had not made the heart grow fonder. It hadn’t got any subtler or the characters smarter

Here are the worst 20 moments from this week’s episode.

1. 'I say: what happens in Ibiza stays in Ibiza,' said Daisy moronically.

Er, it’s on television

2. 'Only you could convince me to come here'

- Mark Francis to Victoria. That, and the cheque from E4

3. 'It’s still just going nowhere. It’s more like friends just meeting up'

- Sam Prince about his relationship with Toff but actually summing up the whole series

If anything they were worse on holiday than at home. Posh twerps like Harry and Sam (pictured) Thompson referred to women as 'birds' and Daisy revived that 80s horror 'bonking'

If anything they were worse on holiday than at home. Posh twerps like Harry and Sam (pictured) Thompson referred to women as 'birds' and Daisy revived that 80s horror 'bonking'

4. 'We never kiss. We never do anything. It’s

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