First, a disclaimer: I have not played competitive rugby for about a decade. I gave up when everyone else grew taller and wider and I was stuck in my mid-teens as (what I think they politely call) a late developer.
Formerly a fly-half of absolutely no repute, I often wonder whether I was wrong to give up the sport. And then I bumped into Maro Itoje.
Earlier this week, I was one of three intrepid amateurs given a masterclass by one of this country's supreme athletes. The results were predictably horrific.
Sportsmail's Daniel Matthews was given the chance to train with Saracens star Maro Itoje
The England and Saracens star put Sportsmail through their paces earlier this week
His legs are pumping, his face reddening. But still nothing. No movement but the sliding of studs on a browning pitch.
Did I say his? I mean mine, of course. Who knew I wouldn't be able to shift a scrum machine carrying England's second-row enforcer?
Six inches and nearly eight stone separate me and Maro Itoje - I'll leave it to the perceptive among you to work out in which order.
Yet here I was, knees bent, head bowed (not yet in shame), trying with all I might to push. Three seconds was all I had to move Itoje as far as I could.
They could have given me three years and the muddy pitch would have sooner resembled the Somme than I would have made any serious ground.
Itoje provided a masterclass in how the best teams in the world operate in attack and defence
The 24-year-old watches as Sportsmail's Matthews takes part in a one-on-one attacking drill
The only breakthrough I could make was behind me, as my boots slipped again and again in the moist ground. Eventually they gave way completely, sending me face-first into the floor.
I had exhausted my resources and moved Itoje all of a few inches. Maybe I
