When you get a moment, type in the words: ‘Peter Crouch can do anything’ — the first thing you will see is me, in full England kit, attempting a scissor-kick.
If you look a little closer, though, you will see the same image has been put on clock faces with my arms and legs telling the time. It has been superimposed on to pictures as if I’m attempting a basketball slam dunk and it’s even been placed alongside runners tackling the 110 metres hurdles. It’s all harmless fun.
The picture was actually taken during England’s second game at the 2006 World Cup against Trinidad & Tobago. I had a decisive impact on that contest, scoring the first goal in the 83rd minute. It was one of the best moments of my career, a header from David Beckham’s cross that enabled us to win 2-0.
England striker Harry Kane has not had the start he would have hoped for at Euro 2020
Had things worked out differently, however, the picture would have had a different meaning. The attempted scissor-kick was actually a dreadful miss, late in the first half. I should have converted a cross from Becks but got the execution all wrong. I knew when I did it I was facing derision.
Yes, things turned out well for me that night in Nuremberg but I was aware going into the game that all eyes were on me and the critics who felt I shouldn’t be in the team were waiting for their chance.
This is the line you are always walking with England, especially in a tournament.
If we had drawn or, God forbid, lost to Trinidad & Tobago, that miss would have been the first thing anyone spoke about in relation to my international career. Look at the situation with Gareth Southgate — he played 57 times for England and hardly put a foot wrong, yet all anyone remembers is a penalty against Germany.
Scoring against Trinidad and Tobago in a group game was a great moment in my career
There is nothing like it when England take off at a major tournament, it is hyper-emotional
But I knew the critics would be all over me for this spectacular miss earlier in the game
The internet jokers were out in full force and made fun of me with memes like this one
Last Monday, Gareth woke up to headlines referring to him as a genius for picking a team that nobody expected and orchestrating a 1-0 win over Croatia that gave England the perfect start. Suddenly, after a 0-0 draw with Scotland, he’s out of his depth.
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