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Try not to panic quite yet. But be warned: this country appears to be sleepwalking into very dangerous territory.
For so much of this summer, Gareth Southgate and his England players have been under attack. One constant criticism? Keep politics out of football. Cases briefly spiralled in Teesside earlier this month and symptoms have been known to include mistaking Sam Johnstone for Vladimir Lenin. It's said doctors now consider this among the unfortunate side-effects of tournament fever.
Now, though, there is a new issue to tackle. We appear to be in the midst of a major politician who isn't a clinical sporting tragic. Whisper it quietly, but could Sir Keir Starmer... be... an actual... football man?
Keir Starmer was at Wembley for England's Euro 2020 match with Scotland last Friday
The Labour leader, already a season ticket holder at Arsenal, was at Wembley during Euro 96 and returned for last week's clash between the Auld Enemies.
That was concerning enough but then Starmer posted a picture from inside Wembley and, I must tell you: he bore worrying resemblance to someone who actually knew what they were watching. This was no wide-eyed extra-terrestrial attempting to infiltrate the underlings by chatting about 'soccer'
