What sort of man do you become with a Gareth Southgate in your life? 'A better one,' says his best mate (and perhaps biggest fan) Andy Woodman.
He is talking from personal experience first, then in the wider sense. 'I dread to think the path I would have gone down without him, particularly when my mother died and I was lost and a bit broken. But I had him there, keeping me right. It's what Gareth does. You saw it with the England team — it was a broken team when he took that job on. Maybe the country was broken, too. I'm not saying it's fixed yet but, crikey, look what he has achieved.'
He references that powerful image of Gareth hugging the young Buyako Saka, whose penalty miss sealed England's fate. 'Those boys cannot be in safer hands now.'
Gareth Southgate's friend Andy Woodman says the England boss made him a better person
England manager Gareth may have the plum job (although it must seem like a poisoned chalice, given the fallout from England's losing on those oh-so-significant penalties), but Andy also manages a team, National League club Bromley.
The pair go back a long way. They met when they were 14, ambitious young players both dreaming of football glory. Gareth was Andy's best man, and vice versa. They holiday together, are godfathers to each other's children and have been together 'through life's ups and downs'.
Andy watched the Euros final while wearing his treasured Rolex watch — a gift from Gareth. They had made a promise when they were starting out, that whoever got their big break first would buy the other a gold watch, they agreed. Gareth kept his word.
Of course, Andy messaged his mate immediately after the game to express his disappointment — and pride. When he 'touched base' with Gareth the following day, the hoped-for jubilation about England's victory had given way to a national feeling that was much more complicated. Pride was mixed with shame, over the racist trolling of the three young players who had missed their penalties.
They met when they were 14, ambitious young players both dreaming of football glory
The pair even played with each other - winning the Division 1 Championship (above)
'Disgusting,' he says, of the racist underbelly that was laid bare. 'And it has come from the same people who'd have jumped for joy when Raheem Sterling scored a goal.'
At the same time, Gareth was facing trolling of his own. Should he have put these youngsters in such a position? Would he resign? The fickle nature of football — where one minute the manager of a national team can be hailed as a future PM, the next painted as a villain — was again apparent.
'Preposterous,' says Andy. 'It's actually laughable. Our country hadn't been near a final for 50 years! They're the best national team we've had in my lifetime — and still there are people saying he should go? What are they thinking?
Gareth was Andy's best man, and vice versa. They holiday together, are godfathers to each other's children and have been 'through life's ups and downs' together
'I'm not sure people appreciate how much he has been carrying on his shoulders. He's been on the go for weeks with the team, with the country. I know Gareth. His first concern will be with those boys and making sure they are OK, but he needs to look after himself, too. When we touched base I just said I hoped he was going to take some time with the family, have a holiday.'
Possibly not to Italy? He laughs.
'Do you know, he'd be exactly the sort of person to go to Italy, to shake their hand and offer congratulations and respect. That would be Gareth.'
For this interview, we spend more than an hour talking about Southgate's leadership and mentoring skills and for a lot of it, we are not talking about football, even when we are. Andy, 49, offers an interesting perspective about what it's like to be on the sidelines, so to speak, watching as his old mucker — the dapper one, who once took him to task for wearing a baseball hat to dinner — came to be hailed a hero, a champion, a future Prime Minister. Yes, he ribs Gareth about that one, but only to a point.
'Generally I'd say horses-for-courses. Let the politicians do their thing, let us footballers do ours, but you know, Gareth could do that, if he had to. If he had the job, he'd make sure he had the skills to do it. Mind you, I'd make him Chancellor, rather than Prime Minister. He was always good with money.
'He could never see the point in spending £40 on a pair of socks because there was a designer label on them. He'd take the £3 pair. There's nothing flashy about him, but there is something classy. It's different. He always had class.'
Back in 2003, the pair wrote a book together, partly because Gareth thought his story was too 'boring' to stand alone (as if), but partly because he wanted his mate to benefit financially. It speaks volumes about the man.
Andy messaged his mate immediately after the Euro 2020 final to express his disappointment — and pride. He also called the abuse the England players had received as 'disgusting'
Andy has not really spoken about their friendship since, and does so with a little trepidation. 'You aren't going to write that I saw Gareth Southgate snort seven lines of coke in a toilet once, are you?' he says. Er, no, unless you did? More laughter.
'I can say, hand on heart, that of every footballer I have ever known, Gareth is the last person you would have seen do that. Gareth wouldn't eat a chocolate bar if it interfered with training. He had more discipline than all the rest of us put together.'
Andy oozes pride, but you also get the sense from him that he saw, long ago, what the world is now seeing: that his mate was top league, in every way.
'I told him years ago that he'd be a national treasure. He laughed. Well he is now, and I can tell you this, he deserves every accolade he gets — and he's still exactly the same guy as he was at 14.
'We may both have a few more wrinkles now but back then, he was the sort of person you wanted in your life, maybe needed in your life. Everyone is seeing that now. He's the son every parent wants, and the man everyone wants their daughter to bring home.'
Woodman's career has mirrored his friend's, but (as he says himself) at different ends of the football world. In their playing days, Gareth was earning more in a week than Andy was in a year.
He references that powerful image of Gareth hugging the young Buyako Saka, whose penalty miss sealed England's fate, saying the boys are in safe hands now
Somehow their friendship weathered the imbalance. When he got the England job, Andy was the first person Gareth called. He called Gareth quite recently for some work-related advice.
'I was in a quandary,' Woodman explains. 'I was going to leave a player out of the team, for the second time. I told Gareth I was thinking of not telling him in advance. Gareth said I shouldn't do that. He said I had to be honest, sit him down and talk to him.
'He
