Just days after being given the devastating news that he has early onset dementia, Bobbie Goulding still has the capacity to surprise.
The 49-year-old's dancing feet may have slowed from his days competing with Shaun Edwards to be the best half-back in Super League but he retains the quick wit that made him such a colourful personality off the pitch throughout an illustrious career.
'Going from penthouse to s***house is the simple way to say it,' he says with a smile of his diagnosis.
Goulding will need his sense of humour over the months and years to come as he battles a debilitating brain condition for which there is little treatment, and attempts to come to terms with the implications for his family.
Rugby League legend Bobbie Goulding opens up to Sportsmail on his dementia diagnosis
Since struggling with a post-retirement drink and drugs addiction that climaxed with him puncturing a lung after crashing the family car into a tree eight years ago, the former Great Britain scrum-half has successfully turned his life around, building a personal training business from a gym he owns in St Helens.
Given this transformation, his dementia diagnosis seems particularly cruel. The 5ft 6in scrum-half made his first-team debut for Wigan at 16 and just two years later became the youngest-ever Great Britain tourist at 18, winning the first of 17 caps.
'To get the diagnosis was devastating,' says Goulding. 'I'm a bit shook up. I've never been scared of anything in my life, but I'm scared now. I've got a lovely family to think about and my grandson now. He means more to me than anything and I absolutely idolise him. And if this does go quickly I might not get much time with him.
'I hope everything's going to be OK. In some ways it's worse knowing as it's always at the back of your mind. If you don't know about it, you can get on with your life.'
Some of the other players taking legal action against the Rugby Football League for negligence in their treatment of head injuries have struggled with dementia symptoms for years. Goulding's diagnosis was a shock despite his increasing forgetfulness and mood swings.
The 49-year-old made 366 appearance across 10 rugby league clubs during his time as a pro
His condition comes as little surprise due to the rough treatment he received on the pitch, and the lack of treatment off it
'It has come out of the blue and hit me like a bus, it is hard to take,' he says. 'I didn't think about dementia at all, I just thought it was the way life was.
'You'd be better off speaking to my wife and daughter about what I'm like, but things aren't right.
'I'm argumentative. I forget things. Last week I even forgot I was on a Zoom call with the neurologist. I'd signed into it OK, but the next thing my phone was ringing red hot.
'I didn't answer it as I didn't recognise the number, and then my daughter came in to tell me what I was supposed to be doing. I finally answered the call and it was the doctor I'd logged on my computer to speak to 10 minutes earlier.'
With the benefit of hindsight, however, his condition comes as little surprise due to the rough treatment he received on the pitch, and the lack of treatment off it.
Given his diminutive stature there is an obvious comparison to be made with Rob Burrow, who was diagnosed with motor neurone disease at the age of just 37. Both were relative pygmies in a game played by giants.
Goulding has drew comparisons to ex-Leeds Rhino star Rob Burrow (pictured), who was diagnosed with motor neurone disease at the age of just 37
'I was 13 stone, 5ft 6in, playing against blokes who were 6ft 2in and 19 stone, and didn't even bother about it,' Goulding says. 'But it takes its toll in the end. Especially if they're angry!
'I was knocked out cold six times. I've torn my biceps off my arm. I broke my leg. I've had numerous groin operations. I've split my head open. I've knocked my teeth out. I had my ankle fused last March.
'I accepted everything like that when I played, as I didn't know any better at the time. What needs to change is the aftercare following the incidents. When you're knocked out you shouldn't be playing. We were neglected. I hope things have changed and the players are treated better.'
Some of the incidents Goulding recalls from his career, and the circumstances in which he was forced to play, defy belief. 'I played within days of serious knockouts on at least three occasions,' he says.
'I remember playing on a Sunday for Leigh at Huddersfield towards the end of my career in 2002. I was in Huddersfield Royal Infirmary on the Sunday night after being seriously knocked out, and played the following Saturday against Batley.
'I didn't have one doctor check on me during that week. "Bob, are you ready to play?" they said. "Yeah, I'll play". If you watched the video you'd be shocked.
'There was another game that stands out just after I'd signed for Widnes in 1992. We were playing at Hull KR and I was knocked out.
'We were still living in Leeds at the time so I didn't get the team bus home. My wife drove and she had to pull over on the motorway as all my bodily functions just went right through me. She had to pull over, and there was s**t and p**s everywhere. It was horrendous. I had no control at all.'
The only recognition of the dangers of concussion Goulding received during a playing career that began at Wigan in 1990 and finished with a player-coaching stint at Rochdale 15 years later was a pre-season baseline cognitive assessment which, he claims, was completely unsupervised, thus allowing the players to cheat and making a mockery of the entire process.
I had no control. All my bodily functions went right through me. There was s**t and p**s everywhere. It was horrendous
'We had the test to do on the computer at the start of the season to set our template for the year, which you'd come back to if you had a head injury, but players cheated all the time,' he says.
'You had to come
