I find myself in an unfamiliar place as I build towards the start of the Vitality Blast this month — from a fitness perspective, I cannot believe how good I feel.
Am I confident things are where I would like them to be ahead of Sussex's opening Twenty20 fixture against Glamorgan on May 26? Absolutely.
After my first operation last May, my right elbow felt no different at all. Obviously, I wasn't going to fully know whether it had been successful until I started bowling, but what I can say is that things immediately felt different after my second one in December. Now, nearly five months down the line, it's a relief the way things are.
I find myself in an unfamiliar place as I build towards the start of the Vitality Blast this month
Now, nearly five months after my second elbow operation, it's a relief the way things are
In a situation like this, when you are forced to have operations, you do think about whether you are going to play cricket again, whether you're going to play all formats even. But the ECB gave me the assurance and peace of mind that they wanted me around for a long time.
At one point I thought I was going to lose my contract when things weren't going well, but now I have confidence about what the future holds. Part of that is down to them not rushing me back.
Such has been my confidence, in fact, that I have recently had a couple of weeks of downtime that allowed me to go back to Barbados.
On the eve of leaving, one of the physios asked me whether I was concerned about stopping my rehab for a bit but I said no as I had not felt so good for so long.
I have recently had a couple of weeks of downtime that allowed me to go back to Barbados
I was just trying to enjoy some bits of home because I'm not going to be back there for a little while and the opportunity to be in and around my family, at a time when my mum Joelle and stepdad Patrick had birthdays, was nice because usually I am not around them at this time of year.
Normally, I would have been in pre-season or at the Indian Premier League, so while I've been prevented from playing these past eight months, mentally I feel good.
Having gone into a dark place last summer after the first op, I can see why when people are not on the good side of situations like this they sometimes have a downward spiral in terms of mental health.
It's natural for anyone to worry about the future in that kind of situation, but not having to chase a contract gave me the time to rest properly. Suppose I had rushed my comeback, I might have messed things up more or injured something totally unrelated to what I had done previously and then I would be even further
