sport news KATHRYN BATTE: Man United goalkeeper Safia Middleton-Patel opens up on 'massive ... trends now
Safia Middleton-Patel had just had the ‘best month of her life’ but was at her lowest ebb. At the age of just 18, the Manchester United goalkeeper had made her senior debut for Wales against the Philippines.
She was training regularly with United’s first team and had signed her first professional contract. But she realised she had to get help.
‘After my debut for Wales I had a meltdown,’ Middleton-Patel, 19, tells Mail Sport.
'I hit a brick wall. I couldn’t go outside, I was just down all the time. I was so low that it just didn’t make sense.’
The possibility that she might be autistic had crossed her mind before, but it was not until she reached out to United’s club doctor to get answers that a diagnosis was made.
Safia Middleton-Patel has opened up about her autism diagnosis to Mail Sport
The Manchester United goalkeeper admitted she was struggling mentally
‘I went to the doctor and said “I don’t think I’m normal, I don’t think I’m right, I think there’s something going on with me.”
‘I was struggling mentally in and out of football. I’d been thinking that maybe I was autistic, maybe I wasn’t, and seeing loads of posts on social media.
‘At the time I was thinking “I relate to this, I relate to that. People don’t think the same way as me.”
‘I just thought “I need to reach out for help otherwise I’m not going to make it. It’s going to be the worst year ever, I just need to get out of this black hole. I can’t continue like this.’
While her diagnosis was initially daunting, the goalkeeper says it has been a weight off her shoulders.
‘It’s been a massive turning point in my life. Don’t get me wrong, it was emotionally draining and once I got the diagnosis I was a bit like “what do I do from here?” I have a label, but that doesn’t really define me.
‘It was really hard for me to take because all my life I thought I was normal but actually I’m completely different and I see life differently.
‘When I was younger I just thought “everyone is like this, I’m thinking the same as everyone else.” But as I got older, it progressively got worse. For me to have to hide it, without knowing I’m hiding it, was stacking on top of me.
Middleton-Patel admits it was emotionally draining to be diagnosed but ultimately beneficial
LEGO Club has been a welcome distraction for Middleton-Patel and her team-mates
‘But I can take a step back and understand why I’ve been struggling in this way, why people have been perceiving you as rude and quite blunt when actually I’m just being honest, I’m just being me. I don’t mean to come across as rude. I don’t mean to break down when you tell me something has changed in my routine.
‘It’s also helped my coaches understand me better. I remember being undiagnosed and I couldn’t do a drill without visually seeing it. I would never be able to see it in my head until it’s been done in front of me.
‘Mary [Earps] and Phallon [Tullis-Joyce], they’ll do the drill first, I’ll see it, I’ll understand it and then I’ll go and do it. Sometimes
