Round 1 - Pick 1 USC • Jr • 6'1" / 215 lbs Projected Team Chicago PROSPECT RNK 1st POSITION RNK 1st PAYDS 3633 RUYDS 121 INTS 5 TDS 41 OK ... someone has to take Caleb Williams. And the only things I could come up with would be the Cardinals trading up to No. 1 and sending Chicago Kyler Murray or the Packers trading up to No. 1 and giving up Jordan Love. But none of those are actually realistic. Congrats Bears fans, you are untrollable for the next several months and maybe much longer if Williams is actually as good as advertised. Round 1 - Pick 2 Michigan • Jr • 6'3" / 202 lbs Projected Team Washington PROSPECT RNK 20th POSITION RNK 4th PAYDS 2991 RUYDS 202 INTS 4 TDS 25 There was legitimate buzz about McCarthy going second overall, based largely on the premise he's a higher-end version of Brock Purdy, who Commanders GM Adam Peters helped acquire in San Francisco. Round 1 - Pick 3 Ohio State • Jr • 6'4" / 205 lbs Projected Team New England PROSPECT RNK 2nd POSITION RNK 1st REC 67 REYDS 1211 YDS/REC 18.1 TDS 15 There's nothing wrong with grabbing a generational WR talent but passing on both Jayden Daniels and Drake Maye would make people pretty mad. Round 1 - Pick 4 North Carolina • Soph • 6'4" / 230 lbs Projected Team N.Y. Giants PROSPECT RNK 5th POSITION RNK 2nd PAYDS 3608 RUYDS 449 INTS 9 TDS 33 This might be enjoyable for Giants fans but unfortunately in this case they gave up a future first-round draft pick to move just two spots up and grab another ACC quarterback, with multiple quarterbacks sitting there ahead of them at No. 6. Round 1 - Pick 5 Notre Dame • Jr • 6'7" / 322 lbs If the Chargers stand pat and don't take one of the top wide receivers here, you can expect their fans to be pretty upset. Round 1 - Pick 6 Florida State • Jr • 6'4" / 260 lbs Projected Team Arizona PROSPECT RNK 11th POSITION RNK 2nd The entire world has penciled the Cardinals in for a wide receiver and that's fair, but they still need a ton of help on defense and could decide to address WR in the second round if they miss on MHJ. Round 1 - Pick 7 LSU • Sr • 6'4" / 210 lbs Projected Team Tennessee PROSPECT RNK 6th POSITION RNK 3rd PAYDS 3812 RUYDS 1134 INTS 4 TDS 50 The Titans have hyped up Will Levis a lot this offseason but he's a second-round pick. There's no guarantee a new coaching regime wouldn't draft over him if the reigning Heisman Trophy winner fell in their laps. Round 1 - Pick 8 LSU • Jr • 6'0" / 200 lbs Projected Team Atlanta PROSPECT RNK 3rd POSITION RNK 2nd REC 89 REYDS 1569 YDS/REC 17.6 TDS 14 The Falcons have Drake London and signed Darnell Mooney but they could arguably still use help and depth and top-tier talent at WR if they believe in these prospects. Round 1 - Pick 9 Texas • Jr • 6'1" / 308 lbs Projected Team Chicago PROSPECT RNK 15th POSITION RNK 1st It's kind of difficult to troll the Bears, but passing on Rome Odunze to pair with Caleb Williams or grabbing an OL to protect the QB at nine is probably the closest thing. Round 1 - Pick 10 Alabama • Jr • 6'4" / 252 lbs Projected Team N.Y. Jets PROSPECT RNK 10th POSITION RNK 1st The Jets adding another pass rusher wouldn't even be that shocking for this regime but people (aka Aaron Rodgers and all Jets fans) might not be thrilled! Round 1 - Pick 11 Washington • Jr • 6'3" / 215 lbs Projected Team Minnesota PROSPECT RNK 9th POSITION RNK 3rd REC 92 REYDS 1640 YDS/REC 17.8 TDS 15 Anytime you can get another weapon for SAM DARNOLD you HAVE TO DO IT. Round 1 - Pick 12 Washington • Sr • 6'3" / 213 lbs Projected Team Denver PROSPECT RNK 30th POSITION RNK 5th PAYDS 4903 RUYDS 8 INTS 11 TDS 39 The Broncos NEED a quarterback but taking Penix here would qualify as a reach and probably rile up some Denver fans. Round 1 - Pick 13 Georgia • Jr • 6'4" / 240 lbs Projected Team Las Vegas PROSPECT RNK 14th POSITION RNK 1st REC 56 REYDS 714 YDS/REC 12.8 TDS 7 Nothing wrong with Bowers! But it has to feel like a luxury pick for the Raiders here. Round 1 - Pick 14 UCLA • Sr • 6'5" / 265 lbs Projected Team New Orleans PROSPECT RNK 16th POSITION RNK 3rd Again, nothing wrong with the player but the Saints not improving the offensive line in this draft would be a pretty aggressive mistake. Round 1 - Pick 15 Alabama • Jr • 6'6" / 360 lbs Projected Team Indianapolis PROSPECT RNK 19th POSITION RNK 5th Hey buddy that offensive line is getting older in Indy. Round 1 - Pick 16 NC State • Sr • 6'4" / 238 lbs Projected Team Seattle PROSPECT RNK 62nd POSITION RNK 2nd Seahawks fans badly want linebacking help?!?! You got linebacking help!!!! (I actually think this is a sneaky real-life option for Thursday, fwiw.) Round 1 - Pick 17 Penn State • Jr • 6'3" / 254 lbs Projected Team Jacksonville PROSPECT RNK 22nd POSITION RNK 4th Jags fans really want a wide receiver but they're probably more likely to be disappointed in Round 1 based on Trent Baalke's history in the NFL Draft. Round 1 - Pick 18 LSU • Jr • 6'4" / 205 lbs Projected Team Cincinnati PROSPECT RNK 17th POSITION RNK 4th REC 68 REYDS 1177 YDS/REC 17.3 TDS 17 This might end up being a legit/good pick but Bengals fans can't be thrilled about simply "drafting Tee Higgins replacement" a la Jessie Bates. Round 1 - Pick 19 Texas • Jr • 6'4" / 196 lbs Projected Team Carolina PROSPECT RNK 27th POSITION RNK 6th REC 55 REYDS 845 YDS/REC 15.4 TDS 11 With Thomas coming off the board, David Tepper panics and trades both of his second-round picks to the Rams to move up into the first round and guarantee he gets a wide receiver. So the Rams still haven't used a first-round pick since 2016 (Jared Goff!) and Carolina is giving up tons of draft picks to get the back end of a wide receiver run. EVERYONE LOSES! Round 1 - Pick 20 Toledo • Jr • 6'0" / 196 lbs Projected Team Pittsburgh PROSPECT RNK 8th POSITION RNK 1st The most troll thing would be taking a QB, but I don't think they'll realistically do that in the first round ... this is actually a pretty good pick maybe? Sometimes you run out of troll steam halfway through the troll draft. Round 1 - Pick 21 Texas • Jr • 6'1" / 172 lbs Projected Team Miami PROSPECT RNK 31st POSITION RNK 7th REC 75 REYDS 1014 YDS/REC 13.5 TDS 6 Dolphins fans probably wouldn't be thrilled with the team adding MORE TINY SPEED at wide receiver. Round 1 - Pick 22 Georgia • Jr • 6'7" / 340 lbs Projected Team Philadelphia PROSPECT RNK 18th POSITION RNK 4th This might be a realistic pick! Howie Roseman drafting a Georgia player to eventually replace Lane Johnson?! Round 1 - Pick 23 Clemson • Jr • 6'2" / 185 lbs Projected Team Minnesota PROSPECT RNK 21st POSITION RNK 3rd Vikings fans would lose their MIND if they stood pat and went WR and CB in this draft after expecting a massive move up to get a QB. Round 1 - Pick 24 Oregon • Sr • 6'2" / 217 lbs Projected Team Dallas PROSPECT RNK 38th POSITION RNK 6th PAYDS 4508 RUYDS 234 INTS 3 TDS 51 Jerry Jones is ALL IN ... on leveraging Dak Prescott in contract negotiations next year. Round 1 - Pick 25 Western Kentucky • Jr • 5'11" / 210 lbs Projected Team Green Bay PROSPECT RNK 60th POSITION RNK 14th REC 79 REYDS 984 YDS/REC 12.5 TDS 11 Packers fans probably believe they're set at WR and even if this is a pick they don't hate, it always manages to troll Aaron Rodgers! (Twice this draft, sorry Aaron.) Round 1 - Pick 26 Washington • Jr • 6'4" / 317 lbs Projected Team Tampa Bay PROSPECT RNK 23rd POSITION RNK 1st A very good player in a spot where maybe the Bucs don't need him? IDK Round 1 - Pick 27 Alabama • Soph • 6'0" / 196 lbs Projected Team Arizona PROSPECT RNK 13th POSITION RNK 2nd The Cardinals coming out of the first round with two defensive players would be objectively hilarious. Round 1 - Pick 28 Oregon State • Jr • 6'6" / 334 lbs Projected Team Buffalo PROSPECT RNK 12th POSITION RNK 3rd A very good player ... but not a wide receiver!!! Bills fans would be apoplectic. Round 1 - Pick 29 Oklahoma • Jr • 6'7" / 328 lbs Projected Team Detroit PROSPECT RNK 36th POSITION RNK 7th The Lions are grabbing an offensive lineman for the future guys. Round 1 - Pick 30 Alabama • Jr • 6'1" / 195 lbs Projected Team Baltimore PROSPECT RNK 29th POSITION RNK 5th An Alabama prospect who doesn't help the offensive line or get Lamar Jackson another weapon. Round 1 - Pick 31 Georgia • Jr • 6'0" / 185 lbs REC 30 REYDS 478 YDS/REC 15.9 TDS 3 I love the idea of Ladd on a Kyle Shanahan team but it's probably extraneous! Round 1 - Pick 32 Iowa • Jr • 6'1" / 207 lbs Projected Team Kansas City PROSPECT RNK 25th POSITION RNK 4th Another fan base that would be fairly miffed without a WR being selected in the first round.