Batten down the hatches and start stockpiling now - according to the British media the country is enduring a major constitutional crisis.
Yesterday, the Commons speaker (who is supposed to keep parliamentary business moving along like a smoothly oiled machine) dropped what has become known as the Bercow Bombshell, announcing triumphantly that Mrs May cannot make MP’s vote on her wretched Brexit deal for a third time, unless she can offering new terms - about as likely as me giving birth to twins at the age of 72.
Mr Bercow looked as pleased as punch amidst this chaos, a smirking ring master of the world’s most arcane and disorganised puppet show. MP’s shouted abuse, moaning and whimpering. Some want another vote - but only if the result will be remain.
Mr Bercow looked as pleased as punch amidst this chaos, a smirking ring master of the world’s most arcane and disorganised puppet show
Some want trade deals few of us can understand, with names like Norway plus one or Sweden plus two - which sound like invites to a swingers’ party.
Some dreamers talk of a new coming together in the middle, a new centrist grouping but time is not on their side. Meanwhile, 100% of the public (most of whom voted for Brexit) are totally fatigued.
All they want - like someone suffering from painful piles - is an end to the suffering, the blathering and the waffle. If it takes radical surgery and the removal of the Prime Minister, bring it on.
Outside Westminster, the nation’s mood is being tested by scare-mongering journalists and business leaders, busily exploiting Brexit chaos to the max. A climate of fear is being encouraged every single day.
Yesterday, the Commons speaker (who is supposed to keep parliamentary business moving along like a smoothly oiled machine) dropped what has become known as the Bercow Bombshell, announcing triumphantly that Mrs May (pictured)
A few weeks ago we were told that everyday food was toxic - cooking a roast dinner was ‘as polluting as inner city traffic’. Then ‘toast is more toxic than traffic fumes’. I switched to stews and gave up toast. Then, eggs were linked to heart disease.
So my breakfast has been switched again to a slice of bread (not toasted) with slices of tomato (not avocado because another scare story told me that was full of fat and the mafia are allegedly moving into avocado farming because it is so lucrative).
It was inevitable that the people promoting fear stories about food and flab would turn their attention to Brexit.
Last weekend, I learned that ‘families are lining up to learn survivalist skills of hunting, foraging and fighting’ because of the threat of post-Brexit chaos.
According to one newspaper, expensive courses in survival skills like unarmed combat, self defence and ‘urban foraging’ are seeing a surge in the number of applicants.
Supermarkets are stockpiling non-perishable goods and filing vast warehouses. The biggest supplier of frozen food to the NHS has stockpiled one million ready-meals in case of disruption
It costs £299 to spend two days learning how to deal with prolonged food shortages, how to survive mass blackouts and deliver emergency first aid. All these skills will be essential (according to the ‘experts’) if Britain faces rioting and a breakdown in law and order. The course will show you how to send smoke signals and navigate by the stars! A shame that light pollution in our cities means those signals will be useless.
Attendees will learn what food they should start stockpiling, and how to hunt and eat ‘natural meat sources’ (ie roadkill because there aren’t that many tasty fish in most city canals).
Supermarkets are stockpiling non-perishable goods and filing vast warehouses. The biggest supplier of
