When the cat's away and all that. With chief moggy Theresa May off scouring Europe with her begging bowl, some of her little critters were scurrying around back home causing plenty of mischief.
The starting gun to succeed the PM popped long ago – no doubt you've noticed the 'look at me' interviews flying around these past weeks – but gathered in Westminster Hall yesterday morning we had our very own miniature leadership debate.
The event: a presentation by Onward, a Right-wing think-tank run by two tousle-haired brainiacs barely out of short trousers.
The contenders: Health Secretary Matt Hancock, International Development Secretary Penny Mordaunt and Tom Tugendhat (Con, Tonbridge and Malling).
The contenders: Health Secretary Matt Hancock. The starting gun to succeed the PM popped long ago – no doubt you've noticed the 'look at me' interviews flying around these past weeks
They were there to discuss the party's lack of appeal among young voters. The perfect platform, in other words, for this thrusting trio to present their lofty vision for the party's future.
Has any issue, barring Europe, given Conservative strategists as much bellyache in the past two decades as the dreaded 'yoof' vote?
Ever since Tony Blair waltzed cockily into Downing Street twanging his guitar, the Tories' attempts to court this tricky demographic has provoked a buttock-clenching embarrassment. David Cameron petted a husky and made 'at home' YouTube videos. Worse, William Hague wore a baseball cap and boasted of regularly glugging down 14 pints a day.
The Onward brainiacs announced matters were as hopeless as they had ever been. We were shown damning charts and graphs, one which Brainiac 1 ominously dubbed the 'bow-tie of doom'. Brainiac 2 kept referring to something called 'age cohorts'. Their language was typically wonkish but their message unambivalent. If there were an election tomorrow, young 'uns will vote for the
