A mother-of-three who had to ask her partner's permission to go to the toilet has spoken out about her experience of domestic abuse.
Jennifer Gilmour, 31, says she was gas lighted and verbally manipulated by her former partner to such an extent he would sometimes refuse to let her use the toilet.
She washed dishes before he got home because of his obsession with a clean house, cancelled plans with friends when he asked and did not travel to Hull to see her family for two years.
Jennifer Gilmour, 31, says she was gas lighted and verbally manipulated by her former partner to such an extent he would sometimes refuse to let her use the toilet
She said: 'I used to have to ask him permission to go to the toilet, even if we were in a restaurant, as a way to control me and sometimes he used to tell me no and make me wait'.
'He used to alter reality all the time and leave me questioning myself after he did something or acted in a certain way, and made me blame myself about what happened.'
At one point her partner tried to convince her she had a problem with her mental health.
At the beginning of their relationship he had been charming, complimentary and the perfect gentleman, according to Mrs Gilmour
'When we used to argue, he would come back to talk to me later and lie and completely change what happened so I would think it's all me.
'I didn't know it at the time, but it was gas lighting - he even made me question my sanity and told me I had bipolar, even though I know that I've got no mental health problems,' she added.
But at the beginning of their relationship he had been charming, complimentary and the perfect gentleman, according to Mrs Gilmour.
Mrs Gilmour now helps other women understand the warning signs to look out for. She has written books on the subject
She said: 'I met him at work whilst I was studying at university and at first found him to be charming, friendly, relaxed and a person that everyone liked and got on with.
'He was so complimentary to me when we first started dating and it was something that I really enjoyed, as I hadn't really been given them before.
'I wasn't a confident person and had been bullied at school, and didn't have a great opinion of myself, but he was so caring and listening and everything I thought that I could ever want in a partner.
'But he mis-sold himself to me, as he was actually nothing that he said he was on the back of the tin.'
Soon her former partner was regularly asking her to cancel plans with friends to spend time with her instead.
As part of sharing her story and helping others, Mrs Gilmour has written two books and achieved an award for Most Informative Blogger in 2018. She recently won the WOW award by Jacqueline Gold to recognise the achievements of women starting their own businesses
She said: 'At first I didn't see the signs that he was an abuser, as what he did was so subtle and simple.
'He first started by isolating me from my friends as when I told him I was going out with them, he used to tell me that he thought we were meant to be going out that night, or said he wanted to spend time with me and could I rearrange.
'I felt loved and went along with it, but he did it that much that I lost my friends and also lost contact with my family, who he stopped me going to see, so I didn't go back to Hull in two years as he refused to let me.'
And his extreme jealousy meant she could not offer male colleagues lifts home as he would refuse to sit in the passenger seat if he knew another man had been there.
She added: 'As soon as we
