Howard Stern has revealed his enduring guilt over not getting the chance to apologize to Robin Williams after he badgered the comedian about leaving his wife for his son's former nanny when interviewing him in the early 90s.
The world's highest-paid radio personality reflected on his 33 years in the industry in his new memoir Howard Stern Comes Again, admitting that he was a 'maniac' during the early years of his career.
'My narcissism was so strong that I was incapable of appreciating what somebody else might be feeling,' Stern writes in the book, which hit the shelves on Tuesday.
'I have so many regrets about guests from that time. Possibly my biggest regret was my interview with Robin Williams.'
Stern, who is infamous for asking his guests about their sex lives, interviewed the 'Mrs. Doubtfire' actor in the early 90s.
Williams had recently divorced his wife of 10 years Valerie Velardi after cheating on her with their infant son Zach's nanny Marsha Garces. He married the mistress in 1989, one year after the divorce, while she was pregnant with their first child.
'I was attacking the guy, and he was justifiably furious with me,' Stern writes. 'Years later, I realized I finally needed to apologize.'
He continues: 'I didn't know what Robin's reaction would be. He could have hung up on me. He could have cursed me out. I had to do it.
'It took me twenty years to work up the nerve. I was in the midst of tracking down his phone number, and the next day he died,' Stern said, referring to Williams' death by suicide in 2014.
'I'm still filled with sadness over his loss and remorse for my failure to reach out sooner.'
Howard Stern reflects on his long, successful career in the radio industry in his forthcoming memoir Howard Stern Comes Again, out Tuesday. The infamous shock jock (above on May 9) reveals that his biggest regret was his interview with Robin Williams in the early 90s
Stern badgered Williams about how he left his wife of 10 years Valerie Velardi (left together) for their son's nanny Marsha Garces (left together). The interview took place shortly after the actor divorced from Velardi in 1988 and married Garces in 1989 when she was pregnant with their child. 'I was attacking the guy, and he was justifiably furious with me,' Stern writes
If given the chance to say his piece, Stern says he would have told Williams: 'I'm sorry, because I am such a huge fan, and you didn't even know that, and I didn't allow myself to be a fan of yours, and I didn't allow you to have the microphone and entertain my audience, and I learned nothing about you in the interview I did.
'I was just an attacking maniac, and I want to tell you it is one of the biggest regrets of my life because I hold you near and dear to my heart, but I was in such a bad place I couldn't allow myself to be a fan of somebody.
'I was so crazed about ratings and keeping the audience's attention, I had no business conducting an interview with you like that. So, I just want to apologize.'
Stern said he regrets never getting to apologize to Williams before he died by suicide in 2014. The comedian is pictured around the time of the interview in 1996
The interview with Williams was one of many that Stern feels he botched because of his own arrogance.
He says he deeply regrets having asked Gilda Radner if her costar Gene Wilder 'had a big penis' during a 1983 interview that left the Saturday Night Live comic in tears. Stern wasn't able to apologize to her before she died in 1989.
Rapper Eminem, actor Will Ferrell and singers Carly Simon and George Michael were among the people Stern felt the need to apologize to after their interviews.
'George Michael's band Wham! — everyone I worked with said: "Whatever you do, don't ask them if they're gay. Do not ask them if they're gay." Within twenty seconds, I asked them if they were gay,' he writes in his new book.
During his cringeworthy 1995 interview with Simon, Stern brazenly asked the singer: 'Can I squeeze your buttocks?'
Stern says it wasn't until he began psychotherapy treatment in the late 90s that he started to re-evaluate how he was approaching his career.
'I really wanted to get out there and tell people that psychoanalysis works, to not be afraid,' Stern told the New York Post of his book.
'It took me five years to call this psychiatrist I saw. I didn't want to admit I needed anyone. I didn't know what it was all about. I found it incredibly intimidating.
'In fact, one of the reasons I included Bill Murray in the book … he sums it up by saying: "You take a good hard look at yourself and sometimes you don't like what you find." And that's true.
'When you do [take a good hard look], real profound change can happen.'
Stern (above in 1995) says he regrets many of the interviews he conducted early in his career
The shock jock is seen hugging singer Carly Simon as he asks her: 'Can I squeeze your buttocks?' during a 1996 interview on The Howard Stern Show
Another interview Stern wishes he could go back and redo was with Eminem in 1999 (above)
Stern said he started off going to therapy twice a week but soon increased the frequency to four times a week.
'The more I went, the more that translated into how I interviewed my guests,' he writes. 'I found myself changing my approach because I had experienced what it was like to have someone genuinely interested in my life.
'Therapy opened me up and enabled me to appreciate how fulfilling it was to be truly heard. That led me to the thought: "You know, somebody else might actually have something to say. Let's just sit here and listen and not make it all about you."
'At first, not making it about me was difficult. I had to learn to say no to myself. Stop talking. Start listening. Let someone else shine and have a moment. Trust that the audience will remain there.
In his book Stern describes his efforts to make amends with those he felt he'd wronged.
He writes: 'Some were gracious. A radio guy I had been awful to said: "You know what, man? I'm so glad you called. I actually felt bad for you that you were carrying around so much bitterness and ugliness inside, and I'm happy you don't have that anymore."
My narcissism was so strong that I was incapable of appreciating what somebody else might be feeling.
'Others were angry. A famous comedian I had bashed said to me: "I appreciate that you called, but I don't know if I could ever forgive you. I had to go through a lot of misery, because your fans were brutal."'
Though one section of his book is titled 'Drugs and Sobriety', including interviews with Bradley Cooper, Miley Cyrus, Chris Cornell and others, Stern says he's 'not a drugs guy'.
'If anything, I'm addicted to people,' Stern told the Post. 'And what I mean by that is I'm addicted to the spotlight. I'm addicted to getting attention from people. And a lot of those things come from being very starved in a way. I'm actually surprised I'm not obese — because I need to fill myself — but I'm filling myself with people.
'There's no difference between a drug addict, an alcoholic or gambling [addict], or people addict. I tried to get the audience's attention in so many ways that it's a struggle. I mean, what are you really looking for with all of that? Sure, you want to be an entertainer, but there can be room for other people on the dial. There's got to be some balance in your life.'
He recalls spiraling into a depression in 2006 after the radio station he worked for did a study that showed one in four drivers on the Long Island Expressway were tuned in to his show.
'That's an amazing accomplishment, and yet I thought: "Well, why are the other three cars not listening to me?" Now that's called an addiction. That's an addiction to attention … That's a pretty sad statement,' he said.
Stern is pictured during the debut of his Sirius XM Satellite Radio show in January of 2006. The 56-year-old remains the world's highest-paid radio host after some 33 years in the industry
Stern is pictured with wife Beth Ostrosky in November. The pair have been married since 2008
Stern also suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder, which he admits made writing this most recent book a battle.
When asked about his previous best-selling memoirs, Private Parts (1993) and Miss America (1995), Stern advised anyone who owns the books to 'burn them'.
'I'm not proud of my first two books,'
