You've got to hand it to Meghan and Harry.
Their entire joint CV would read something like: 'Meghan was a suitcase girl on Deal or No Deal and an actress on Suits, a TV show made in Canada. And Harry's shown some real thespian promise with his hostage video performances on camera during lockdown.'
But their stupendously rich paymasters Netflix didn't hire the Duke and Duchess for their experience, or lack of it.
The world's most successful streaming giants hired them because they're royal, titled, and therefore, as we've seen since the announcement yesterday, can generate spectacular global media attention just by breaking wind in public.
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Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced they have signed deal with Netflix. Pictured, in a video supplied on Monday July 6, 2020 by The Queen's Commonwealth Trust
Netflix is betting on that media attention generating enough new subscribers to justify the massive price tag.
Hence the comically over-the-top gushing statement from its co-CEO and chief content officer, Ted Sarandos: 'Harry and Meghan have inspired millions of people all around the world with their authenticity, optimism and leadership. We're incredibly proud they have chosen Netflix as their creative home – and are excited about telling stories with them that can help build resilience and increase understanding for audiences everywhere.'
Sarandos is one of the smartest guys I've ever met in the media gamepo, but even he must have struggled not to giggle as he read all that disingenuous sycophantic drivel.
How could anyone possibly feel 'inspired' by Meghan and Harry's 'authenticity, optimism and leadership' or 'resilience' given that they've spent the past two years whining, quitting, living off rich people and preaching about equality from their position of supreme elitism?
The couple's own statement was even more comically absurd.
'Our lives,' it began, 'both independent of each other and as a couple, have allowed us to understand the power of the human spirit: of courage, resilience, and the need for connection.'
This is the same Meghan and Harry who've gutlessly run away from royal duty, and disconnected themselves from everyone and everything, to become shameless money-grabbing celebrities - right?
They continued that they intend to shine a light on 'people and causes around the world' by 'creating content that informs but also gives hope' and want Netflix to help them 'share impactful content that unlocks action'.
What does that even mean? Where is this action currently being locked, and what is it?
Then came the funniest bit.
'As new parents,' they said, 'making inspirational family programming is also important to us as is powerful storytelling through a truthful and relatable lens.'sonos sonos One (Gen 2) - Voice Controlled Smart Speaker with Amazon Alexa Built-in - Black read more
I laughed out loud at this point.
Two people who've so heartlessly and ruthlessly deserted their own families are now going to be telling us how to be good families?
As so often, this latest Meghan and Harry move is beyond parody.
But what they have inspired is me to now cast a crystal ball and look into the future to imagine the kind of hyper-woke, self-serving productions that I look forward to seeing on Netflix from Megxit Productions:
1) HOW TO HAVE YOUR ROYAL CAKE AND EAT IT. An inspiring and educational film in which the