PLATELL'S PEOPLE: Keir Starmer will need to paper over this puerile John Lewis ...

Whichever spin doctor came up with the idea that Keir Starmer should appear on the campaign trail in John Lewis holding up a roll of wallpaper should be pasted against the wall and papered over permanently.

Of all the facile and stupid stunts in a week when the Prime Minister had really been on the ropes over Wallpaper-gate and the mysterious payment to redecorate his No 11 flat, this had to be the most puerile.

Awkwardly holding the wallpaper roll aloft with all the gravity of a museum curator clutching the Dead Sea Scrolls, it only made folk wonder if this was the first time the multi-millionaire lawyer had even been into the nation’s beloved store.

I’m guessing, but with a £1.8 million London home and seven acres of land in Surrey, Starmer has never had to sully his hands with wallpaper before — there are tradesmen to do that.

In one silly photo, he let Boris off the ropes, gave him time to breathe when, let’s face it, the PM is facing serious questions of probity and integrity — and four separate inquiries — into whether he lied about who stumped up for his fiancée Carrie’s passion for soft-furnishing excess.

Insurance Loans Mortgage Attorney Credit Lawyer

Whichever spin doctor came up with the idea that Keir Starmer should appear on the campaign trail in John Lewis holding up a roll of wallpaper should be pasted against the wall and papered over permanently

Whichever spin doctor came up with the idea that Keir Starmer should appear on the campaign trail in John Lewis holding up a roll of wallpaper should be pasted against the wall and papered over permanently

While not excusing Boris, most men would probably have just let the missus get on with running the home while he ran the country

While not excusing Boris, most men would probably have just let the missus get on with running the home while he ran the country

And spare me any accusations of sexism or misogyny over laying even a teeny weeny part of the blame at Carrie’s door. I know that as the former head of communications for the Tory Party — a job I also once held — she’d have to be a tough, professional woman, as FoCs (Friends of Carrie) constantly brief the media.

While not excusing Boris, most men would probably have just let the missus get on with running the home while he ran the country. 

Did she, in her desire for divine décor, overreach their combined £300,000 income? It appears she did.

Guto Harri, chief adviser when Boris was London Mayor, says his shambolic former boss was so uninterested in décor he wouldn’t even notice what was on the walls, let alone the floors.

While the charges against Boris are serious, far more important is that next week nine million voters will go to the polls for local elections and a key by-election in Hartlepool.

Will we be swayed by the particular shade of gold of the PM’s wallpaper, or by the triumph of the Government’s vaccination programme, our steady path towards normality and the promise of a return to a real life after an unimaginably terrible year?

Insurance Loans Mortgage Attorney Credit Lawyer

And what do Starmer and his motley crew of third-rate frontbenchers have to offer? Not a policy anyone can remember between them — just silly John Lewis stunts.

I’m betting that come next week, our PM will have the last laugh.

Hear no evil, see no evil . . .

The older brother of the London Bridge terrorist Usman Khan, 28, granted anonymity in the inquest, insists his family ‘did not turn a blind eye’ to Khan’s previous form.

Khan senior said he did not know about the police caution after a racist attack on a white pupil aged 13, nor the expulsion from school at 14, nor his extremist views, despite a picture of him waving a jihadist flag in their local newspaper.

And when he visited his brother six days before the atrocity, he said, he was acting ‘absolutely normal’.

Probably wise to have granted the man anonymity after all, for his own safety.

Helena’s worthy of the crown 

Well done Bafta for nominating Helena Bonham Carter for best supporting actress in The Crown, as she sumptuously and convincingly portrayed the complex Princess Margaret. And for not putting up Emma Corrin for best leading actress as Diana.

The only authenticity in Corrin’s one-dimensional

read more from dailymail.....

PREV Care home residents can leave for 'low risk' visits from Tuesday without having ...
NEXT Canada to not distribute JNJ COVID-19 vaccines until quality checks complete