Dawson's Creek and Wasteland writer Heidi Ferrer was afraid her long-haul COVID-19 would turn her into an invalid before she committed suicide following a 13-month battle with the virus, her husband said on Wednesday.
A month ago, Heidi Ferrer, 50, took her own life at her home in Los Angeles, California. She had been bedridden and riddled with excruciating pain since she contracted the virus in April 2020.
Her husband, director Nick Guthe, told CNN that it took months for doctors to diagnose her ailments and get a referral for a long-haul Covid clinic, which arrived a day before she died.
'She had indicated that if things got really bad she didn't know how she could continue, she didn't know how she could keep going, and I just kept saying, you know, "Just hang on, you know, just hang on, medical science is moving at the quickest rate it ever has,"' Guthe said.
'But I think she just felt that she was only going to diminish, she was going to lose the ability to walk, end up in a wheelchair, not be able to bathe herself.'
Through Guthe and his family's tragedy, he's urged everyone who's suffering like his wife did to hang on.
'I believe that help is on the way, but we need our government to step in now and fund research right away and provide mental health support services for people like her,' he told CNN.
The mother-of-one suffered body aches, including severe pains in her feet and ankles, fatigue and flu-like symptoms when she tested positive for COVID in April 2020.
Her symptoms worsened, and by June she was bedridden. Over the following months, Ferrer's fatigue and foot pain remained but she also became crippled with neurological tremors.
In a heartbreaking blog post that she penned back in September titled 'How I'm recovering from long haul COVID', Ferrer detailed how the virus had crippled her but declared that 'COVID won't win'.
Director Nick Guthe said his wife Heidi Ferrer, pictured here at the premiere of 'Mini's First Time' during the 5th Annual Tribeca Film Festival on May 1, 2006 in New York City, was in excruciating pain for 13 months with long-haul COVID before she killed herself
Guthe posted photos of their wedding on Facebook with the message, 'I miss her'
Heidi Ferrer, 50, took her own life on May 26 at her home in Los Angeles, California following a lengthy battle with COVID-19, her family said
'The monster is real and it came for me. Recovering from COVID-19 has been one of the hardest things I've ever gone through and I've been through a lot,' she wrote.
'In my darkest moments, I told my husband that if I didn't get better, I did not want to live like this. I wasn't suicidal, I just couldn't see any quality of life long term and there was no end
