Women who refused to conform to society's sexual standards - and lived happily ...

They might not be written in stone but everyone knows there are certain things that are 'expected' of them when it comes to sex – particularly if you're a woman.

Ideally, you should wait for sex if you want to be taken seriously. You should aim to date a man older than you or around your own age. Married men are off limits and married bosses even more so.

The perils of not conforming to society's expectations is swift, harsh judgement by those close to you.

Having the tick of approval from family and friends is important: it's one of the main predictors of relationship success. But stepping outside the square doesn't always end in disaster: it can make for a better relationship.

I spoke to three women who dared NOT to do the norm…and don't regret it for an instant.

We had sex within one hour of meeting

*Lara is 46 and has been happily married for 20 years

'I grew up with conservative, traditional parents and got the message very early that sex was something you did with someone you love.

My parents weren't ridiculous about it – they didn't push the whole no sex before marriage line. Just taught me that sex was something special and you shouldn't just do it with anyone.

When I was 25, I made friends with a girl who was much more sexually adventurous than me. I'd slept with three men when I met her, she was the same age as me and had slept with 15.

I wouldn't say she was a bad influence but she did encourage me to pursue sex for sex sake, rather than only do it with men I thought I might have a relationship with.

One Friday night, we went to a pub near home, got absolutely hammered and got chatted up by some guys who worked in finance. My guy was nice and a laugh and I thought, 'You're about to get lucky!'. The pub was about to shut and I went home with him after talking for about 15 minutes. Within one hour we were having sex.

I passed out immediately afterwards and woke up the next day with the worse hangover I have ever had.

I felt both sick and mortified and planned on jumping in a cab and going home to recover. Instead, the guy made me coffee and toast and made me drink gallons of cold water and really looked after me. I slept again and woke up feeling half decent. We chatted in bed for ages after that, cuddled, watched films and got takeaway. I didn't go home until Monday morning and that was just to get some new clothes to wear to work.

We've been together ever since. Ironic, that the one time I set out to have no-strings sex, I end up marrying the guy.

He says he's never had sex so fast before either but wasn't going to knock me back because why would he?

We have a daughter who's 16 and she knows the story of how we met and what happened. She also knows it was out of character for both of us, but I want to her to know that so-called sex 'mistakes' – things a lot of people feel ashamed of – don't have to end badly.

Would I advise her to have sex on the first night? Probably not. Should she be ashamed if she does? Absolutely not.'

I had an affair with my married boss

Marika is 27 and works in commercial real estate

I'd been working for the company for about two years when a new boss arrived. We were a well-known brand but old-school and he was there to modernise the firm.

My previous boss was old and unattractive. This new version was mid 30s, tall and extremely attractive. He was Scandinavian and had alarmingly blue eyes and great cheekbones. He's athletic, so has a great body as well. His wife came into the office very early on but only once. We all noticed her – she was equally as good looking – and sighed. Everyone fancied him!

I managed a small team and reported directly to him, so we had lots of interaction. He was friendly and easy to talk to and we very quickly became friends as well as colleagues. I was attracted to him from the start but never had any intention of acting on it. He was married and my boss and I had no intention of becoming a cliché.

But as time went on, we got closer and closer. I didn't admit to myself that I was in love with him but I knew it deep down. The staff would joke that we were 'work wife and husband' but I think most just thought it was friendship.

We didn't talk about his wife: all I knew was that they'd been together six years and had no children. Had he talked about her a lot, with love and affection, I honestly don't think I would have gone there. I'm not a monster: I wouldn't set out to break up a happy marriage or put myself through that.

There was a period when he seemed stressed and irritable – unlike him. I asked him if he was OK and he said he was having problems in his marriage.

I'm ashamed to say my heart soared. I hadn't dared to entertain thoughts that he might not be in love with his wife. My resolve not to get involved faltered, but I still had no idea if he'd ever thought of me in a romantic or sexual sense, though sometimes I caught him looking at me.

Not long after that, I went on an overseas holiday with some girlfriends.

We didn't communicate outside of work but I got a text from him while I was away saying he hoped I was having a good holiday and that he missed me.

I thought I would die with happiness. I took a risk and sent one back saying I missed him too – more than he could imagine. He sent a kiss back and that was that.

Two weeks later I walked back in the office. I don't think I have ever been so nervous. He gave me the biggest smile and told me to come into his office and shut the door.

He told me he'd never missed anyone so much in his life and that he was in love with me. It was pointless pretending I didn't feel the same way. Everyone can see into his office, so we couldn't hug or kiss and had to pretend this was a normal conversation.

We met in a hotel that night and had the best sex I have ever had. We made love for hours! He said he was going to leave his wife but that we should keep a low

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