Playboy bunny Holly Madison claims she was 'kind of asexual' before meeting ...

Playboy bunny Holly Madison claims she was 'kind of asexual' before meeting ...
Playboy bunny Holly Madison claims she was 'kind of asexual' before meeting ...

One of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner's most notorious girlfriends says she never had casual sex before meeting him and was 'kind of asexual' before the first night she slept with the magazine publisher.

'I never had casual sex with anybody before. I feel like I was kind of really asexual, so maybe I just wasn't ready for that,' she reveals in the premier of 'Secrets of Playboy,' a 10-part docuseries that aired Monday on A&E.

Holly Madison, 42, said her mom even thought she had Asperger's, a high-functioning form of autism, because she had so much trouble 'connecting with other people.' Madison was 21 when she moved into the Playboy mansion in 2000 and become Hefner's 'special one,' or main girlfriend.

'I think I was drawn to try and be in the spotlight because I felt like if I could be famous, that would be a shortcut to feeling a connection with people,' Madison says in the 'Secrets of Playboy.'

'I wasn't physically attracted to Hef, but I did find him very charming.' 

The former 'Girls Next Door' star also claimed Hefner offered her a Quaalude, a powerful sedative that has been illegal since 1984, the first night she went out with him and his other girlfriends. He allegedly told her, 'They used to call these thigh-openers in the '70s.'  

Hefner died in 2017. His son, Cooper Hefner, has since come out against the documentary, tweeting that the stories are 'a case study of regret becoming revenge.'

The documentary features Hefner's former butler, who claims his boss would host 'pig night' where he would invite high-profile and celebrity friends over and secretly film them having sex with 'ugly' prostitutes he had hired. A former assistant claims Hefner used the amphetamine Dexedrine every day to keep himself alert.

Holly Madison, 42, became Hefner's 'special one', or main girlfriend, and moved into the Playboy mansion aged 21 in 2000. Above, Madison in the new docuseries Secrets of Playboy

Holly Madison, 42, became Hefner's 'special one', or main girlfriend, and moved into the Playboy mansion aged 21 in 2000. Above, Madison in the new docuseries Secrets of Playboy

Madison, above at 15 in 1995, says she always had trouble connecting with people and that her mom thought she may have Asperger's, a high-functioning form of autism spectrum disorder

Madison, above at 15 in 1995, says she always had trouble connecting with people and that her mom thought she may have Asperger's, a high-functioning form of autism spectrum disorder 

Madison, above with Hefner in 2002, says she was disgusted by how Hefner refused to use protection

Madison, above with Hefner in 2002, says she was disgusted by how Hefner refused to use protection

Madison's (right) 'special relationship' with the magazine publisher was portrayed over the course of 91 episodes on E!'s The Girls Next Door, which ran from 2005 to 2010

Madison's (right) 'special relationship' with the magazine publisher was portrayed over the course of 91 episodes on E!'s The Girls Next Door, which ran from 2005 to 2010

Monday's premiere began with a statement from Playboy magazine: 'Today's Playboy is not Hugh Hefner's Playboy. We trust and validate these women and their stories and we strongly support those individuals who have come forward to share their experiences.'

Madison studied at Portland State University and moved to Los Angeles to finish her degree in psychology and theater at Loyola Marymount, according to Cosmopolitan.

She worked as a waitress at Hooters and a model until she was invited to a party at the Playboy Mansion by Hefner's physician. 

According to Madison's 2015 book, 'Down the Rabbit Hole,' she asked to move into the mansion after her first night sleeping with Hefner and other women as part of his 'bedtime routine.' She was 21 years old.

Madison starred in the E! show 'The Girls Next Door' alongside Hefner's other main girlfriends at the time, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt. The show ran for 91 episodes from 2005 to 2010. 

Part of the show's storyline was the special relationship between Madison and Hefner, with Madison hinting at marriage many times. 

Marquardt, who was a bridesmaid at Madison's 2013 wedding to festival producer Pasquale Rotella, has corroborated some of Madison's claims. Wilkinson did not agree to participate in the documentary and has previously stood by Hefner, according Yahoo! Entertainment

Madison and Rotella have two children and divorced in 2019. 

The new A&E docuseries lifts the lid on the 'dark underbelly' of the Playboy Mansion and founder Hugh Hefner, who died in 2017 at age 91

The new A&E docuseries lifts the lid on the 'dark underbelly' of the Playboy Mansion and founder Hugh Hefner, who died in 2017 at age 91

Hefner's soon Cooper Hefner has come out against the new series, calling it a 'case study of regret becoming revenge'

Hefner's soon Cooper Hefner has come out against the new series, calling it a 'case study of regret becoming revenge'

Madison says she never had casual sex before the first night she did with Hefner. 'I feel like I was kind of really asexual, so maybe I just wasn't ready for that,' she said in the documentary

Madison says she never had casual sex before the first night she did with Hefner. 'I feel like I was kind of really asexual, so maybe I just wasn't ready for that,' she said in the documentary

Madison calls Hefner 'manipulative' and described the atmosphere in the Playboy Mansion, above, as 'cult-like'

Madison calls Hefner 'manipulative' and described the atmosphere in the Playboy Mansion, above, as 'cult-like'

When she first walked into the mansion two decades ago, she says she saw a 'wholesome atmosphere' and craved a sense of community. She 'was able to buy into' a relationship with Hefner because she 'never connected' with guys her own age.  

The first night she slept with him was with a group of other women. 

'There was definitely, like, no romance or seduction or anything like that,' Madison says of that night. 

She noted that there was pornography playing on the screen. 

'The women were surrounding him.' 

'It was all very mechanical and robotic and you would kind of follow the other women's lead. It was really gross to me how Hef didn't want to use protection. The impact it had on me was so heavy. I never expected to be the first person to have sex that night or to be, like, pushed into it.'

In her book, she said that during the bedtime routine, 'No one was actually in the mood (besides Hef, I assumed) or turned on in the slightest. Like the porn itself, it was all just for show.'  

'Much to my surprise, my turn was over just as quickly as it started,' she added.

'I have never had a more disconnected experience. There was zero intimacy involved. No kissing, nothing. It was so brief that I can't even recall what it felt like beyond having a heavy body on top of mine.'

Hefner, who launched the first edition of Playboy in 1953, had fashioned himself as a champion of freedom of sexuality and freedom of speech in a repressive post-war era

Hefner, who launched the first edition of Playboy in 1953, had fashioned himself as a champion of freedom of sexuality and freedom of speech in a repressive post-war era

By the 1970s, Playboy had taken off and Hefner opened up dozens of Playboy clubs where members gained entry using a key. He is seen with an entourage of Playboy Bunnies in 1966

By the 1970s, Playboy had taken off and Hefner opened up dozens of Playboy clubs where members gained entry using a key. He is seen with an entourage of Playboy Bunnies in 1966

In the docuseries, Madison called Hefner 'manipulative' and described the atmosphere in the

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