Tuesday 14 June 2022 12:07 AM Drug-dealing pizza shop owner Andrew Hamilton posts prison food reviews on ... trends now
A pizza shop owner awaiting sentence for supplying psychedelic drugs is posting scathing online reviews of the 250 meals he ate in prison before getting bail.
Andrew 'Hammo' Hamilton has also been performing stand-up comedy in Sydney clubs, delivering routines based largely on his four months in custody.
The 36-year-old is due to be sentenced later this month for supplying a large commercial quantity of psilocin, known as magic mushrooms, and a commercial quantity of LSD, or acid.
He also admitted to supplying MDMA, or ecstasy, possessing ketamine and cocaine, and dealing with the proceeds of crime.
A pizza shop owner awaiting sentence for supplying psychedelic drugs has been posting scathing online reviews of the 250 meals he ate in prison before being granted bail. Andrew 'Hammo' Hamilton has also been performing stand-up comedy in Sydney clubs (above)
Hamilton was arrested in June last year and spent 125 days behind bars, most of it in the maximum security Parklea prison in Sydney's north-west, before being granted to bail to live with his elderly parents.
While in custody, Hamilton made notes of every lunch and dinner he was served and turned those assessments into reviews he has been regularly posting on TikTok.
Each meal is scored on a scale from zero - 'would rather starve', to nine - 'as good as mum's cooking', with the top rating of 10 deemed 'not possible'.
A meal worth one point is described as 'tough even for jail', three points serves as a reminder 'oh that's right I'm in prison' and eight means 'you'd be happy to pay for it'.
On his seventh night in custody Hamilton's dinner was a beef salad he gave a rating of 1.2 out of 10 - 'at the very lower end of "this is tough, even for jail".'
'This was the work of the devil,' Hamilton says in his video review of that meal.
'I had mistakenly thought that Friday night meals in jail might be something half decent the way you treat yourself on the weekend on the outside. I was gravely mistaken about that.
While in custody Hamilton made notes of every lunch and dinner he was served and has turned those assessments into reviews he has posted on TikTok and Instagram . Each meal is scored on a scale from zero - 'would rather starve' - to nine - 'as good as mum's cooking'
Hamilton spent four months at Parklea Correctional Centre (above) in Sydney's north-west last year before he was granted bail on conditions including that he live with his mother and father
'This meal came with three large slices of something accused of being in some way related to a cow along with a cold piece of tomato, some flavourless coleslaw and some pumpkin.
'These cold dinners are the absolute worst. I only had a few slices of bread and some coffee to fill me up that night because I could hardly stomach any of the meal.'
Hamilton noted the meals came courtesy of CSI - 'which of course is not Crime Scene Investigations but instead Corrective Services Industries.'
A dinner of egg and cheese salad was 'freezing cold' and scored a 3.0 but a turkey, salad and cheese wrap lunch was 'sensational' and scored 7.2.
'If you went camping and someone made one of these for you you'd be stoked,' Hamilton said of the turkey treat.
Hamilton was arrested in June last year and spent 125 days behind bars, most of it in the maximum security Parklea prison in Sydney's north-west, before being granted to bail to live with his elderly parents. He is pictured outside The Comedy Store at Moore Park
A lunch of corned beef sandwich with cheese, salad, and honey mustard did nor fair as well with a 4.8 rating. It was 'drier than the Sahara Desert and it clearly was made with no love.'
Hamilton has also posted videos of his 'Aussie Prison Slang Word of the Day' which have included 'coey' (co-accused), 'segro' (segregation) and 'bupe' (the opioid replacement buprenorphine).
In a video titled 'Dating on bail', Hamilton recounts a Tinder match agreeing to meet up even though the conditions of his release meant he had to be accompanied by one of his parents.
'It seems like that's where the benchmark is now,' he said. 'That's how low things have got.'
'I can still get a date while on bail while having to bring my parents along because there's so many deadbeats out there that are making me suddenly look not that bad.'
