Sunday 25 September 2022 05:23 AM Paper straws, wooden cutlery and fabric bags not as good as plastic trends now

Sunday 25 September 2022 05:23 AM Paper straws, wooden cutlery and fabric bags not as good as plastic trends now
Sunday 25 September 2022 05:23 AM Paper straws, wooden cutlery and fabric bags not as good as plastic trends now

Sunday 25 September 2022 05:23 AM Paper straws, wooden cutlery and fabric bags not as good as plastic trends now

The problem with plastic is that it is too useful and that's why getting rid of it is enviro-mental.

Cling wrap plastic can be stretched thinner than a politician's excuse to stop a fly getting into a potato salad. 

However, as body armour it can be padded thicker than a northern Irish accent to stop a bullet getting into a chest.

Paper drinking straws are a vastly inferior substitute for plastic ones, argues David Southwell

Paper drinking straws are a vastly inferior substitute for plastic ones, argues David Southwell

It is incredibly cheap to make and lasts almost as long as a royal family feud.

So, admittedly, it can hang around past its use-by-date, like a former prime minister.

This is why NSW is banning all single-use plastics in November.

Which might have been OK if the replacements weren't, to put it in technical terms, complete rubbish.

They are even more rubbish than discarded plastic.

To get even more technical, the things they want us to use instead of plastic just plain suck.

Or as is the case with paper drinking straws they hardly suck at all. 

Social media users have known the dark secret of paper straws, they just don't work, or at least for not very long

Social media users have known the dark secret of paper straws, they just don't work, or at least for not very long

It only takes a few sips for these straws to dissolve into sad saggy soggy clumps of mulch.

A replacement for something is normally expected to do the same job.

The job of a drinking straw is to transfer liquid though a thin, sturdy tube.

It's not to turn into pulp that looks like should be used as cheap filler in a wall cavity.

To consume any decent sized drink, or if you are fool-hardy enough to try a thickshake, you have to discard paper straws for fresh ones faster than Leo DiCaprio does Vogue models.  

This can't be good for the environment.

It's not, paper straws are thickly fibrous and not suited to recycle.

Plastic straws along with other single-use plastic items will banned in NSW from November

Plastic straws along with other single-use plastic items will banned in NSW from November 

So, they are just as likely to become landfill as plastic.

Paper straws also taste bad, they are a bit like drinking through an anorexic cardboard toilet roll tube.

That’s not the only food-related plastic 'replacement' that tastes bad.

McDonald's and many other takeaway joints now issue wooden cutlery rather than plastic utensils.

Unlike straws, wooden cutlery performs the basic function of transporting food to your mouth.

However, every munch is tainted with the less than tantalising taste, in fancy restaurants you would call it 'a note', of balsa wood.

Plastic single-use cutlery is sadly being replaced with the bad-tasting wooden eating utensils

Plastic single-use cutlery is sadly being replaced with the bad-tasting wooden eating utensils

That’s not to mention the danger of splinters. 

The time to stop this madness is now.  

If we don't, plastic straws and cutlery are in danger of going the way of that most sadly missed wonder and glory of the modern age - the free plastic shopping bag.

Some may not even remember these translucent blessings, that were miraculously peeled off by by a cashier and given to you.

Given to you… as in for free, at no charge! As many as you needed!

No doubt their negligible cost was absorbed in the overall bill.

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