MAUREEN CALLAHAN: The karmic wheels of justice turn against untalented ... trends now

Netflix overpaid.

As with nearly everything Harry and Meghan do, 'Volume I' of their Netflix docuseries is pompous, mean, self-aggrandizing, and yet more of their specialty: Over-promise and under-deliver.

The much-ballyhooed 'Harry & Meghan' has landed with a thud. The reviews have been scathing: The Hollywood Reporter rightly says the show 'takes a lot of time to reveal very little.' The Atlantic asks if Harry and Meghan 'really want to spend the next 40 years as small angry planets trapped in the gravitational pull of the Windsors?' And Variety says, 'The Sussexes surprise us yet again with just how narrow their vision of fame is, how pinched and unimaginative their presence on the world stage has become.’

Finally, the karmic wheels of justice are turning towards these two self-pitying, untalented, ungrateful hypocrites. No one deserves it more. Let's savor it, shall we?

There's nothing scandalous here — except, of course, the casual cruelty Harry and Meghan, World's Greatest Bleeding Heart Philanthropists and Humanitarians, mete out to their nearest and dearest.

It's stunning. It's heartless. And, as is their trademark, it's utterly lacking in self-awareness. As Harry marvels late in Episode 3: 'It's amazing what people will do when offered a large amount of money.'

You mean like selling out your family, who have loved and supported you, financially and otherwise, your entire life? Like publicly accusing them of racism? Like secretly filming yourselves behind palace walls, long before you claimed you had any idea you'd be Megxiting and monetizing, videotaping and photographing your most private, intimate moments — like Harry's marriage proposal, which Meghan seems to have secretly recorded on her phone without Harry's knowledge — and saving all that ostensibly sacred stuff for a $100 million Netflix deal?

Like that?

Or like the moment when Harry says of Meghan's father — a man who raised Meghan largely on his own, who contributed to the cost of her private elementary school and college — 'She doesn't have a father' — ?

This is as cutting a remark as Harry's deeply implied accusation here that his brother, the future king, couldn't marry for love.

If there was any hope of reconciliation with William, Harry just torched it.

And what has Kate ever done to deserve such bile from her brother-in-law? These are the parents of his niece and nephews, his children's cousins — but as we know, Harry and Meghan play checkers, not chess, and they play with cold hands and even colder hearts. They don't think or strategize long term. They're all about the twisted, short-term dopamine hits they get from acting out their never-ending victimhood.

To watch this series is to witness a Hitchcockian folie à deux minus the wit, élan or sophistication. It's like a soft-focus Oprah interview padded out with historical B-roll meant to support H&M's claims of racism within the monarchy — claims that go nowhere and B-roll that bores.

Nearly three years after the Oprah sit-down and three hours into this Netflix series, we still have no smoking gun about which senior royal is racist or bullied Meghan or didn't care that she was suicidal.

Meghan contradicts herself a fair amount here, in one case backpedaling on her original story that she didn't really know much about Harry before they met.

Initially, she said they met on a blind date, now she says they met through Instagram.

You can watch the wheels turning in Harry's head as he tries to square this circle. He surely has practice, living as he has in this alternate reality for years now.

As for the tea spilled here, it's cold, weak and bitter. Let's listen as Meghan, sitting in an enormous room sheathed in pastel draperies and soft lighting — a halo effect, if you will, for our greatest living saint since Angelina Jolie — talk about having to dim her light, her beauty, her overpowering star wattage, so as not to outshine Kate or the Queen.

Reader, brace yourself: Meghan Markle couldn't wear bold colors in public.

Well, not so much couldn't — wouldn't. Meghan is just that much of a humanitarian. Allow her to explain, in an interview clearly shot before the Queen's death (not that her advanced age or Prince Philip on his deathbed ever stopped these two mercenaries).

'To my understanding,' Meghan says, 'you can't ever wear the same color as Her Majesty if there's a group event. But then you also shouldn't be wearing the same color as one of the other more senior members of the family. So I was like' — and here Meghan tilts her head back and looks heavenward, as if grasping for some earthly solution to

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