British tourist slams Australia as 'just too nice to live in' and blasts ... trends now
A British tourist has slammed Australia - where he spent three weeks over Christmas - as being 'just too nice to live in' and for its 'trivial inconveniences'.
Journalist Jack Kessler also moaned that in London his looks mark him as 'a solid seven', but in Australia, where 'everyone is beach body-ready', he was only a five.
Defending their hurt feelings and national pride, Aussies have slammed him right back for his views on coffee, flip-flops and pasty skin.
Furious commenters on Facebook soon told Kessler he was not a seven in any continent or time zone.
Jack Kessler (pictured) moaned that in London his looks mark him as 'a solid seven', but in Australia, where he reckons 'everyone is beach body-ready', he was only a five
Mr Kessler's article in London freesheet the Evening Standard started out positively, saying that after a few days in Sydney he could picture himself living there.
But his very next sentence said 'stay a little while longer and you quickly come to realise you scarcely understand it at all'.
He gave a backhanded compliment by saying his first week in Australia was 'a world of prelapsarian (innocent) delights.
'A time machine back to, if not quite the womb, then perhaps the mid-Noughties, only with Uber.'
Kessler then wrote a series of cliches and exaggerations about what food Aussies like (aioli is the condiment of choice), their clothes (shorts are 'standard dress for men') and how they love to swear (the C-word is 'a term of endearment', he reckons).
He said after a week of living in Sydney's 'bourgeois eastern shores, with its harbour views and sea breeze', he felt like such a local that he too could only 'pity those living in the stifling western suburbs'.
Jack Kessler complained that the good looking residents of Sydney's eastern suburbs made him feel less attractive. Pictured are people on Bondi Beach
Kessler's article in the Evening Standard - a London freesheet - said he was
