KENNEDY: 'Me First' Meghan is in a situation stickier than huckleberry jelly! ... trends now
Has Meghan 'me first' Markle misfired?
The 'American Riviera Orchard' launch is morphing into a massive headache for Princess Neverwas.
As frenzied fascination bubbled around the MIA Princess of Wales last month, Meghan unveiled her gleaming, greige lifestyle brand.
Some suggested the Duchess was callously piggybacking off so-called Kategate to flog her new jams, spreads and silly bits. Others said they couldn't believe she was so carelessly cooking in a white top with no apron in that cringingly spewtastic promo vid.
Either way, the timing felt like something of a snub to the Waleses.
Scurrilous Stateside rumors about the health of their marriage were swirling to boiling point. Dirty duo Andy Cohen and Stephen Colbert were popping gags at Kate's expense. And the proximity of Meg's Insta unveiling felt a little too close for Californian comfort as Prince William stepped out on stage in London just hours later, at an awards ceremony honoring his late mother. Ouch!
Of course, the brand itself is a shameless royal masquerade. (See Meghan, Duchess Defector, decked out in floor-length ballgown, and the phony-baloney gold embroidered logo.)
Has Meghan 'me first' Markle misfired? The 'American Riviera Orchard' launch is morphing into a massive headache for Princess Neverwas.
As frenzied fascination bubbled around the MIA Princess of Wales last month, Meghan unveiled her gleaming, greige lifestyle brand.
Perhaps, with the gossip gremlins working overtime to blow hot air about stricken Kate, Meghan couldn't pass up a chance to rub up against the royal fairy dust.
After all, loose Windsor association and looser lips are the only things keeping her relevant. Spotify and the harsh Hollywood desert are hardly plumping her up Mount Olympus.
And so, cloaked in sepia and Montecito musk, she's promising scents and serums, dog beds, doolies and napkin rings galore.
Or is she?
You see, now we know the devastating truth about Kate's cancer diagnosis and this Martha Stewart misadventure is looking a bit Harry ham-fisted.
Even Meghan, never afraid to stick her LA oar where it's not wanted, must surely know that any product releases of balsamic fig dip or grievance-scented smelling sticks would now leave her looking like a veritably unsympathetic Viscountess of Venom.
Might the entire homewares project, the Tig 2.0 and a promised Netflix cook show have to wither on the orchard vine?
The scriptwriters at South Park will certainly hope so.
It strikes me Meghan's in a situation stickier than huckleberry jelly – but really, she only has herself to blame.
Though Kate's cancer was still secret at the time of the brand launch, Meghan well knew like the rest of us that the 42-year-old mom of three was convalescing following abdominal surgery. Something rather serious was clearly amiss.
She'll need her vegan-leather hiking boots to weasel out of this one. But our Meghan is nothing if not a transformer.
There's always the re-re-re-launch.
Sex and the Snowflakes
The full monty of 'Sex and the City' episodes are now on Netflix, meaning millions of Gen-Z first-timers will be inducted into the wonderful world of phallic brunch talk and Manolo magnificence.
The snowflakes better pack smelling salts in their Pradas.
Whether it's Samantha's slurs
