Men set up rival to the 'Are we Dating the Same Guy?' Facebook group that ... trends now

Men are fighting back against a women's Facebook page which exposes 'red flags' about ex-partners - as anonymous female members are warned they could still be unmasked and sued if their posts make 'false and damaging allegations'.

'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' was set up in New York in 2022 as a private forum for women to warn each other of 'men who might be liars, cheaters, abusers or exhibit any type of toxic or dangerous behaviour'.

And while it is used primarily as a way for women to help each other, some men have launched lawsuits in the US over false allegations that were made about them on the group. 

In the last two years, the popular female-only group has spread across multiple cities, including London, LA, Chicago and Brisbane, prompting men to launch their own equivalent groups to expose cheating partners.

A public group called 'Are We Dating the Same Girl?' has racked up just under 24,000 members in the last year, while another named 'Are We Dating the Same Woman? was set up just 14 weeks ago.

A third group called 'Victims of Are We Dating the Same Person (guy/girl)' was also launched in September as a 'place to defend yourself' against defamatory posts. 

The original female page was set up as place where women could post screenshots of men they have matched with on dating apps as they call on others to 'dish the tea' - Gen Z slang for 'dishing the dirt', 'spilling the beans' or sharing gossip. 

Women have the opportunity to post anonymously but Rory Lynch, defamation lawyer at Gateley, told MailOnline: 'It is possible for women in the UK to be sued over Facebook posts that make false and damaging allegations about a former date.

'A word of warning: an anonymous profile may not protect the poster – specialist cyber firms can often unmask the real identity of the anonymous poster, then allowing them to be sued.'

Dan Jennings, partner and defamation expert at law firm, Shakespeare Martineau, added that 'although the internet may seem like the wild west at times, real world laws still apply'.

He told MailOnline: 'Users can't hide behind fake profile pictures or indecipherable usernames when it comes to personal comments, and everybody should be sure that what they post online is the truth.'

'With a variety of claims made on this webpage, ranging from cheating allegations to accusations of serious crimes such as rape and abuse, the outcome for a defamation case could include many thousands of pounds in damages plus legal costs.'

Other members of the group have also used the page in a desperate plea for help, including an American woman who accused her British husband - former reality star chef Charles Withers - of 'ghosting' her and their two children while she was pregnant. 

The 'Are We Dating The Same Girl?' page follows a similar format to the women's equivalent. Men share screenshots of women and write things such as: 'Be cautious about this one.' 

A victims page for men and women has also been created.  It says: 'This is not AWDTSG [Are We Dating The Same Guy?], we don't do tea and toxicity. This is a place for people who have had their reputation unfairly ruined by AWDTSG groups that allow anyone to say anything they want without proof.'

It comes after British legal experts told MailOnline that women in the UK must be 'very cautious' with what they write - and that false allegations could land you with a hefty legal bill.

Examples of posts include members sharing photos of men and writing: 'Any red flags?' This has prompted other women to share their stories and tell one another to 'avoid'. 

One man, whose picture was shared on the London page with the caption 'any tea?', told his followers in a TikTok video: 'What in the name of GDPA, gender data protection breach is going on here. Because what buffoon is putting me on this 'Are We Dating the Same Guy?' 

'They're not even dating me! I'm not dating at this moment of time, I'm pretty much single, not talking to nobody so who in their right mind has done this?'

Another 27-year-old man from London was alerted to posts on the group about him which said he was 'too pushy'. He said a woman came back to his house and 'acted weird' before leaving.

He told Vice last year: 'I knew I was in that group because I heard it from multiple sources and obviously her side doesn't match my side. We had a miscommunication and then I'm hearing from girls I grew up with that I'm a creep or that I did something. I don't think these groups are helpful to anyone.'

Media law expert Jay Joshi of Taylor Hampton Solicitors told MailOnline if the allegation causes 'serious harm to the reputation' of the man, they could be exposed claims of libel and misuse of private information.

'It's no different to whether it's on this Facebook page or some other group,' he explained. 'It's the same thing applies to any statements published on social media platforms.

'If you make statements that are untrue and it affects one's reputation in a serious way, then they are going to be exposed.'

There are various defences individuals can rely on in the UK which are truth and honest opinion. The former is if the publisher can show a statement published is 'substantially true' and the latter is if they can prove that it is true.

Mr Joshi said the same principle of defamation applies to users who comment on posts, adding: 'If the statements are untrue - in other words someone's claiming that they went on a date with someone when in fact that in itself is wholly untrue - then that's a statement that could potentially be libellous.'

The senior associate warned women 'have to be very cautious', adding: 'The more serious the allegation, the more serious the claim could be. The reality is no one should be publishing statements that are serious and untrue about an individual and by simply doing that you're already exposing yourself to a claim.'

He also said users 'can't hide behind' the fact they are making posts on social media platforms - even if it is a less informal setting.

Speaking about the financial repercussions, he added: 'There's no sort of science approach to this, it very much depends on the extent of the impact and the gravity of the statements, and, moreover, the sort of general conduct of the maker of the statements.

'Is this just one statement? Is it several statements? Repeating allegations or the same allegations through a course of conduct... all of these factors can play to it.  And of course it will be down to the the claimant to tell the court or to give to show evidence of the impact it's had on them and their reputation.

'And the greater the impact again, that's going to be a factor that plays into the size of the award.' He said it can be 'in the thousands' but that it is 'very difficult to assess'.