MPs compete to be the most appalled about

Home Secretary Amber Rudd lowered chin to chest and announced that Britain believed in tolerance (she actually said ‘tolerancy’).

That meant, she averred with the seriousness of a pox doctor conveying grave news, that ‘we will not tolerate any gwoups who delibewately waise hate’.

Miss Rudd, like the late Woy Jenkins, has an endearing difficulty with the letter R.

The message was clear. We’re so tolerant, we will not tolerate intolerance!

Home Secretary Amber Rudd lowered chin to chest and announced that Britain believed in tolerance (she actually said ‘tolerancy’)

Home Secretary Amber Rudd lowered chin to chest and announced that Britain believed in tolerance (she actually said ‘tolerancy’)

The House of Commons had, with the encouragement of its obtrusive Speaker, succumbed to another bout of unanimous pique. 

When they all agree on something, it becomes less a debate than a competition to see who can be most aggrieved. ‘I’m appalled.’ ‘No, you’re not! I’m much more appalled than you.’

Readers, this was the Outrage Olympics. Who could win the prize? Diane Abbott with her moist-lipped simpering? Yvette Cooper with her elfin, Playschool-presenter head wobbling? Or Miss Rudd, pushing rudeness about the US president as far as she could?

That provocative man in the White House had retweeted messages from Britain First, a nasty (and tiny) outfit of which few of us had previously heard. 

The Twittersphere was aghast, as were MPs, that President had ‘given succour’ to such a group. ‘Given succour’ is the sort of language parliamentarians use on such occasions.

And so they all, er, took to Twitter and the airwaves and now to their hind legs in the Commons to wax indignant on the matter. Which just created more publicity for horrid Britain First. 

Donald Trump is pictured today at the White House, hours after his Twitter spat with Mrs May

Donald is pictured today at the White House, hours after his Twitter spat with Mrs May

This post by Britain First's deputy Leader Jayda Fransen was retweeted by Donald Trump

This post by Britain First's deputy Leader Jayda Fransen was retweeted by Donald

If this row was honestly about denying Britain First publicity, it was instantly self-defeating. Or was it more about Remainers trying to harm Brexit, and reduce the possibility of Mr visiting Britain and agreeing to a big trade deal with post-EU Britain? Hmmn. There was more than a little of that going on.

Before signalling an Urgent Question, Speaker Bercow hunched his shoulders and said he was sure Hon Members would wish to denounce ‘the purveyors’ of racism. 

Purveyors. It is a noun we usually reserve for posh food manufacturers – ‘purveyors of marmalade to the Royal Household’. Such is the strangulated vocabulary of Bercow.

He was a bit eggy round

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