Are you feeling it too?
The Oscars are just three days away and I’m beginning to sink into a mind-crushing stupor of dread at what lies ahead of us.
Hollywood’s awards season has deteriorated into an endless round of virtue-signalling, hypocritical bullsh*t as the planet’s most infamously ill-behaved town pretends to be outraged by its own immorality.
We’ve had the black dresses, the white ribbons, the furious red carpet rages and the weepy podium speeches.
The Oscars are just three days away and I’m beginning to sink into a mind-crushing stupor of dread at what lies ahead after an awards season that has deteriorated into an endless round of virtue-signalling bullsh*t with actors competing for the coveted title of Best Victim
None of it has been about movies; all of it has been about actors competing with each other for the coveted title of Best Victim.
Now they’re excitedly preparing for the big one… the Academy Awards – a chance to scale new heights of ridiculous self-aggrandising preaching to the billion people watching around the world.
How did we reach such a ridiculous state of affairs?
The first Oscars ceremony was held in Hollywood in 1929 in front of just 270 people.
Fifteen statuettes were awarded, and the entire thing lasted 15 minutes.
Everyone who won an award was thrilled to see their work as an actor recognised by their peer group. None of them made any speeches about political issues.
By contrast, last year’s Oscars was held in front of 3,400 people, saw 24 awards presented, went on for 3 hours 49 minutes and included the biggest array of political statements in the show’s history.
As Time magazine recorded, stars including Lin-Manuel Miranda and Karlie Kloss sported blue ribbons in support of the American Civil Liberties Union; Dakota Johnson carried a clutch that featured the Planned Parenthood logo, which Emma Stone also wore on her dress; Ava DuVernay wore a gown by a Lebanese designer to show solidarity with a majority Muslim country amid the furore over Trump’s travel ban; in similar vein, Best Foreign Film director Asghar Farhadi snubbed the ceremony in protest at the ban which included his own country Iran, asking friend Anousheh Ansari to make a ferocious anti-Trump statement in his absence; host Jimmy Kimmel repeatedly mocked the new President; Best Documentary winner Ezra Edelman dedicated his award to victims of police violence; Gael Garcia Bernal spoke out against the Mexico border wall; The director and producer of The White Helmets quoted the Quran and asked the audience to send a message of solidarity to the people of Syria; and Moonlight’s Tarell Alvin McCraney, wearing a red ribbon loaned to him from the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, dedicated the award to ‘those black and brown boys and girls and non-gender-conforming’.
On and on it went. I literally can’t remember anything anyone actually said about movies.
Last year’s Oscars already included the biggest array of political statements in the show’s history, including Jimmy Kimmel's array of Trump digs and Emma Stone's Planned Parenthood pin
Does anyone seriously doubt that this year’s Oscars will be ten times worse?
Hollywood’s bible Variety warned that on the back of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, ‘the ingredients are there for the most political Oscars in decades’.
To which I simply ask: why?
The 2017 Oscars were the third-least-watched of the 21st Century, indicating that nobody wants to hear all this hand-wringing clap-trap.
In the good old days, stars would be derided for going political at the Oscars. It was deemed ‘inappropriate’ and a distraction from the real point of the event, which is to celebrate film.
I support the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns, but I don’t want to hear actress after actress playing the victim card on Sunday night.
Just as even though I’m a vociferous proponent of new gun laws in America, I don’t want to hear actors spend the night demanding a ban on assault weapons as part of the #NeverAgain movement.
(Particularly as many of them star in ultra violent gun-glorifying movies without understanding or accepting this makes them part of the problem…)
There’s a time and a place for these serious debates, and entertainment awards shows should not be where they are conducted.
Apart from anything else, it’s