CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: Highland views from Heaven, but a fishy fry-up from Hell...

CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night's TV: Highland views from Heaven, but a fishy fry-up from Hell...

By Christopher Stevens for the Daily Mail

Published: 01:26 GMT, 27 February 2020 | Updated: 01:28 GMT, 27 February 2020

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Grand Tours Of Scottish Lochs

Rating:

Very Hard Questions

Rating: rating_showbiz_3.gif

Now there's a novelty: a travelogue with no railways, presented by a bloke who isn't a comedian, wasn't ever a politician — and who can't cook.

And Paul Murton definitely can't cook. No one has ever made a more gloriously inept mess of a culinary interlude than his fish fry-up on Grand Tours Of Scottish Lochs (BBC2).

To impress archaeologist Cathy Dagg, the 62-year-old tried to recreate a dish with dried red herring, a fish that in the 18th century was caught and processed on Scotland's west coast before being shipped to the Caribbean — where it was a staple food for slaves on sugar plantations.

Paul deboned the herring with a knife like a man scraping dog muck off his shoe. Then he cremated it in a pan with lumps of scotch bonnet peppers. 

Paul Murton (left, with Tim Hamlet) presents Grand Tours of Scottish Lochs, a fast-paced show peppered with a few unexpected facts

Paul Murton (left, with Tim Hamlet) presents Grand Tours of Scottish Lochs, a fast-paced show peppered with a few unexpected facts

The fumes made Cathy choke before she staggered off-camera, gasping for air, but she bravely sat down to salve Paul's pride by trying a bite. 'It's not terrible,' she told him, with tears in her eyes, but she was plainly lying.

His recipe for the show was much better. In this half-hour tour of the Wester Ross lochs, Paul crammed in at least a dozen short stories. Some needed no more than a sentence and vintage photo — like the salute to a defiant gay duo called Jack and Roy, who lived in remote Scoraig as a married couple in the Forties.

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They started a mail-order business, 'selling organic onions and

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