Kids need rules more than they need affection from parents

Structure is more important than affection for children to develop into secure and happy adults.

New York City psychologist Dr Lisa Damour said warmth and structure are crucial during childhood, but the latter is the most crucial.

That message contradicts what some parents get from popular culture, parenting guides and even other doctors.

But, according to Dr Damour, decades of psychological research have shown a common thread among happy adults: they all had boundaries set early on.

Structure, more than affection, is essential for children to develop into secure and happy adults (stock images) 

Structure, more than affection, is essential for children to develop into secure and happy adults (stock images) 


Teenagers who use their mobile phones at night suffer poor sleep and are more likely to be depressed, a study found. 

Parents should consider ‘digital curfews’ where their children are not allowed to use mobile phones or computers at night, according to the study's researchers from Murdoch and Griffith universities in Australia.

The study of 1,101 youths aged between 13 and 16 found that adolescents who use phones after nightfall tend to have worse self-esteem, are more depressed and are worse at coping with problems.

They are also more likely to engage in aggressive behavior, the research adds. 

Dr Damour explained that there are four general types of parents: 

Authoritative: high on both structure and warmth Authoritarian: high on structure, low on warmth Permissive: low on structure, high on warmth Neglectful: low on both structure and warmth

Authoritative parents who provide structure and affection in their kids' daily lives are considered to be the most 'optimal,' leaving children the most well suited for adulthood.

'Children and teenagers need both warmth and structure at home,' she told Daily Mail Online.

'Some days most parents find themselves being more structured, and on other days they'll find themselves being very warm. It's the mix of the two that we hold out as the ideal in parenting.'

However, she said the second-best option is when children have strict rules at home, even if this means there is a lack of affection.

When kids are raised in a household with high expectations and strict rules, she

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