If the woke Week warriors really cared about saving the planet, they'd ...

The weather forecast has become drearily repetitive; tonight - rain, tomorrow - rain, and for the foreseeable future - wind and rain. Not that celebrities attending London week were that bothered, judging by their outfits. 

In the run-up to the shows, we were told that designers were highly 'concerned' about the environment, determined to use ethical fabrics, cut waste and committed to recycling. 

What happened? Welcome to the trendy world of eco-chic fake 'awareness'.

I spotted stick insect Alexa Chung in a dress by JW Anderson that seemed to have lost a big part of it's sides…maybe that's what they meant about cutting waste. 

Naomi Campbell arriving at the Burberry Fashion Show during London Fashion Week on February 17

Naomi Campbell arriving at the Burberry Show during London Week on February 17

Naomi Campbell arrived at the Burberry show wearing a coat that combined black leather, snakeskin and pony (hopefully all fake) festooned with glittery buttons, an orgy of excess. 

The front row at Burberry featured junior celebs like Madonna's daughter Lourdes wearing so many free checked clothes I almost got a migraine.

One designer featured tulle frocks - worn over hand knitted cardigans - I suppose that's 'craft' of a kind. The fabulous Billy Porter turned up wearing a show-stopping new outfit every couple of hour. 

From frocks to tropical prints, he had every base covered - hardly an advert for restraint. Even Victoria Beckham's kids weren't wearing recycled gear from a charity shop but brand new sweaters and jackets by Dior. 

I searched the catwalks in vain for evidence of those 'eco-friendly' garments we had been promised.Preen by Thornton Bregazzi featured lovely clothes in georgette made from plastic waste with buttons made from nuts. 

Alexa Chung is seen wearing brown coat, black dress outside JW Anderson during London Fashion Week February 2020 on February 17, 2020 in London

Alexa Chung is seen wearing brown coat, black dress outside JW Anderson during London Week February 2020 on February 17, 2020 in London

A well-intentioned gesture, but a few nut buttons are hardly going to reduce the number of bushfires or freak flooding over the coming months. 

How about turning last year's unsold clothes into carpets, curtains and home furnishings for the flood victims?

The world doesn't really do 'environment', does it? After all, the whole point of the industry is to brainwash us into buying clothes we don't really need. 

One bunch of 'ethical influencers' make a living posting lists of their favourite charity shops. Do they expect a medal for wearing old shoes or pre-loved blouses? It's hardly new. 

This week, I wore a camel coat my mother had bought in 1955 to work. Voluminous, it hides a multitude of sins - perfect when you feel crap. 

My 'vintage' choice was met with reverent praise, as if I'd single handedly rowed a boat up the Severn and rescued a few flooded families. Let's be honest, this kind of recycling is meaningless, my wardrobe is packed with sweaters, trainers and jeans for every hour of the week.

If you want to stop waste (and the industry produces more than almost any other) - just stop buying!

FKA Twigs and Naomi Campbell attend the Burberry Autumn/Winter 2020 show during London Fashion Week

FKA Twigs and Naomi Campbell attend the Burberry Autumn/Winter 2020 show during London Week

As editors waffle the same bilge as last year about hemlines and evening frocks (I know - I used to be one of them), flood victims (quite justifiably) complain that no one in power really cares. Why haven't they had a visit from bouncy Boris? 

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