Labour's public consultation on how to improve the NHS has spectacularly backfired just hours after it was launched.
Health Secretary Wes Streeting wants to field the views of patients and staff about the future of the health service over the next ten years.
Yet the online consultation website, which immediately publishes all responses, has seen Brits flood the site with ludicrous suggestions including putting a Wetherspoons in each hospital and serving waffles for every meal.
One even called for Daleks to be incorporated into the NHS, given they 'could be a cheap option for euthanasia'.
Another urged the health service to rent out empty seats in cinemas 'so people can watch a film whilst they're waiting to be seen'.
A separate anonymous response even controversially claimed the NHS should enforce a maximum BMI for all nurses.
Announcing the consultation, Sir Keir Starmer said: 'My mum worked for the NHS, my sister worked for the NHS, and my wife still works for the NHS.
'So I know first-hand how difficult it has been for staff, and for patients battling against a broken system for over a decade. But it's time to roll up our sleeves and fix it.'
Meanwhile, Mr Streeting said: 'When I was diagnosed with kidney cancer, the NHS saved my life, as it has for so many people across our country.
'We all owe the NHS a debt of gratitude for a moment in our lives when it was there for us, when we needed it. Now we have a chance to repay that debt.'
But among the thousands of popular proposals submitted included one calling for a dog to be made the 'new NHS flag'.
Others suggested playing videos of former Prime Minister Theresa May dancing in A&E waiting rooms to 'make people leave' and putting Lord Alli in charge of supplying NHS clothing given the 'national treasure' is the UK's 'number one provider of workwear'.
A fourth even called for 'mandatory euthanasia'.
The anonymous respondent wrote: 'I think this would go very well with Wes Streeting's "Ozempic for Fatties" strategy.
'In fact, what if the options were either 1) Take the Ozempic or 2) be "helped on your way" to free up precious NHS resources and save our beloved key workers.
'There just isn't the money to go around to let fatties and other selfish people take up hospital beds.'
Last week Mr Streeting revealed the government wants to use the jabs to boost the economy and get unemployed obese people back to work.
Weight-related illness costs the economy £74billion a year, with people who are overweight at increased risk of heart disease, cancer and type 2 diabetes.
Two in three Britons are classed as overweight or obese and NHS figures show people now weigh about a stone more than 30 years ago.
Another suggestion urged the NHS to consider 'renting out empty seats in cinemas' to help Brits' mental health.
They said: 'Cinemas need a boost — often empty post pandemic. We need hospital beds. People like films. People have mental health issues.'
One response, meanwhile, controversially called for a 'maximum BMI for nurses'.
They added: 'They should be leading by example.'
One user also called for Sir Tony Blair to be appointed head of NHS England and Alan Milburn — former health secretary under Sir Tony — as his 'Reform Czar'.
'Sizeable salaries must follow' they said.
Mr Milburn is widely expected to be offered an official position in the Department of Health, after months of attending meetings at NHS England and the department despite having no formal role, such as that of a minister or special adviser.
Multiple responses to the online consultation also called for the health service to stop spending millions a year on diversity officers and schemes.
Others also demanded an end to free-at-the-point-of-use healthcare to non-Brits and those visiting from abroad.
Another said: 'Harness the passive aggressive energy exuded by all GP receptionists and use it to power up to 50 per cent of the electricity needed by the NHS.'
Mr Streeting saw the funny side to the responses later posting on X that the idea to include a pub in every hospital was 'sadly vetoed by the chancellor'.
He also rejected calls for him to fired out of a cannon to raise funds for the NHS.
On Sunday outlining the Government's 10-year health plan, Mr Streeting stressed the importance of patients' relationship with their GP, saying it was one of the things the Government wanted to protect along with free healthcare at the point of need and shorter waiting times for appointments.
In Opposition, the party pledged to build 'an NHS fit for the future', with a greater emphasis on preventing ill-health, shifting care from hospitals to community and harnessing the latest technology to improve care.
He said: 'Our 10-year health plan will preserve the NHS's traditional values in a modern setting.'
The plan is also expected to include greater roles for wearable technology to help people monitor their health and creating a single health record that patients can view through the NHS app.
But the health secretary also refused to rule out introducing fines for patients who miss NHS appointments.
While insisting it was not something he was considering now, he said he would be 'more open-minded' if it was still a problem in the future.
